YORK scandal MP Piers Merchant is about to make a political comeback. But not for the Tory Party and, most disappointingly of all, not in the city that led to his downfall.

Piers, political historians will recall, was washed along in the tide of sleaze stories which engulfed the Tories before they lost the 1997 election.

By his account, he was set up by The Sun newspaper who claimed wrongly that he was having an affair with a 17-year-old girl Anna Cox in March 1997. At that time, he says, she was only helping to deliver political leaflets for him.

Ironically, however, after the election they started to work on writing a book exposing the dastardly ways of tabloid journalism; and they did start having an affair.

This was revealed after the Conservative Party conference that October. But Piers said his friend and assistant Anthony Gilberthorpe had set up a "sting" at his flat in Stonegate, York.

"Anthony Gilberthorpe had set the whole thing up, ensuring that I was up in York in his flat with Anna, that the room was covered in CCTV and wired for sound," he told the Observer last year.

Now Piers is about to make a return to the stump. He is a member of the UK Independence Party, campaigning for Britain's withdrawal from the European Union.

And a source within UKIP tells the Diary that the former Tory is all set to stand for a parliamentary seat again at the next election.

However, it will be in the North East - he used to be MP for Newcastle - not in York. That is because the Yorkshire and Humberside candidates for the UKIP have all been selected.

We can only hope Piers adds a little colour to the York campaign by popping back to see us.

SO you want to be a star of reality TV? Thought not. Just as well: if you did you would have to answer an awful lot of questions from nosy television researchers. Habitual telly performer Eddie Vee has forwarded to us the form you are sent if you apply to take part in the Fit Farm.

Here are some of the questions. Why not fill it in for a bit of fun, if you don't have a life.

Are you: Single; Going Out With Someone; A Bit Of Both?

Are you: Gay; Straight; Bisexual?

What do your friends call you/what do you like to be called?

How do you feel about your weight / size / shape?

What do your friends and family think about your weight?

Use ten words that describe how you feel about your body.

In your opinion, which celebrity has the ideal body shape?

If you had to liken yourself to a meal, which meal would you be and why?

"Your body is your temple". Discuss

In your opinion, what is the key to happiness?

Describe your past relationship history.

Choose ten words that best describe you.

What do you ideally like to get up to over the weekend?

What would you like to be your epitaph?

Have you got any bad habits? What are they?

Have you ever had any contact with any mental health professionals, counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists or psychiatrists? (This will not exclude you from consideration).

With so many questions, as York Elvis Academy chief Eddie observes, "you can't believe some of the people who are on the show actually made it on".

Updated: 11:20 Wednesday, April 21, 2004