THAT'S not the way to do it. Punch, who has survived countless encounters with the constable down the years, is in danger of being undone by a new character: the bureaucrat.

Punch And Judy man David Wilde fears new licensing laws could force him to shell out £500 a time to put on a show.

If that did not sink the whole enterprise, it would certainly mean Toby the dog and the crocodile being laid off.

We cannot countenance such a disaster.

Punch should set about the licensing authorities with a string of sausages until they relent.

Updated: 11:49 Thursday, April 08, 2004