"THEY gather around the tape, there's a lot of jockeying for position, the starter's flag is raised and a nation waits breathlessly as the race is about to get underway.
"And they're off - runners and riders in the 2004 England National Coach Chase from the world-renowned F Aintree course.
"Never has the chase been more open, even if Scandinavia's first-choice Go-Go-Goran is way out in front as the pre-race betting favourite.
"The sturdy Swede, who has held all-comers at bay for the past few years, settles himself near the rear of the pack to avoid the customary cavalry charge towards the first fence. Heading the dash in Five Live's colours is rank outsider Jonathon's Pearced Ears, out of Long-Gone Deaf.
"Boy, he's flying. He's got the bit between his teeth. Oh my word, he's got the jockey between his teeth. Oh noooooooo, now he's got the fence between his molars as he careers through the hedging and smack into the turf. That's what you get when you peak even earlier than one-time course specialist Coleman-Bawler.
"Another faller at the opening fence is Pesky Heskey. Well, that was expected, wasn't it?
"Looking good on the outside, however, is Heskey's stable-mate Hooray Houllier, out of Red Rumour. As his own current form has dipped, his credentials as a winner just ahead of the 1998 Coupe de Mondial just down from Longchamps have impressed several pundits.
"Wearing blinkers - all the time - is fellow French hope Wenger On High. But he hasn't spotted Scottish hope Fergie Falters squeezing through on the inside as they approach the Canal Turn for the first time.
"Fergie thinks there's too much of a gap, Wenger thinks there's not. Now that is some collision. There's limbs akimbo as a posse of horses come crashing down in the tangle. You can bet jockeys Vance Nistelrooy and Marty Keown will not be sharing a carrot-juice in the weighing-room in the next half hour.
"The depleted field is stretching out now as we come to the second circuit. Go-Go-Goran is still sensibly safely placed near the back. He's keeping a very close gaze, though, on the Madrid contender Los Galaticos to his left, while also watching to his right the progress of Chelski Millions, who is in grave danger of shipping its rider Claudio Raincloud.
"Both those horses are proving a major distraction to the Scandinavian stallion, whose owner Palios Ofmine has been in talks all week trying to fend off a right stud take-over from a consortium led by billionaire owner Abe Ramovich.
"Up ahead making all the running now is the Irish hope Celtic O'Neill. Runaway winner of the Scottish Grand National, where he left all-comers trailing a full lap behind, the horse sporting the green-hooped colours was marshalled to a superb recent triumph in Spain, where it battered Viva Barca down the final straight.
"Always eager to do the front-running, Celtic O'Neill is in full flow now, streaking clear of the remaining horses, including a trio of home hopes - Carling Coronation Cup winner Supermac Laren out of York-born connections; Sam The Trotter, who was beaten in that Carling clash; and Charlton Curbs, who is carrying a lot of capital from punters south of the Thames.
"As the final fence draws near it's Celtic O'Neill tracked by Sam The Trotter and Charlton Curbs with Supermac Laren surging clear of Hooray Houllier. Then comes Go-Go-Goran being closely pursued by Chelksi Millions with Los Galaticos losing ground.
"Over they go, Celtic O'Neill still in front, but Sam The Trotter has refused. He's stopped dead in front of the fence, caught on the offside by Supermac Laren, who now takes up the running alongside Charlton Curbs.
"Hooray Houllier is another faller at the last after cannoning against Sam The Trotter, while Los Galaticos has perished just as jockey Bex Clotheshorse pushed a stray hair clear of his Gucci goggles.
"It's a long haul now to the winning post. Celtic O'Neill's still in the lead, but Supermac Laren is closing fast. Charlton Curbs has run out of steam just as Go-Go-Goran is finding a second wind. Chelski Millions drops further back, obviously carrying too much weight.
"With less than a furlong to go, Supermac Laren nudges ahead of Celtic O'Neill with Go-Go-Goran in hot pursuit.
"It's Supermac Laren, Supermac Laren, but Go-Go-Goran's getting closer. The winning post is in sight and it's Go-Go-Goran. He's done it. Who could ever have doubted his staying power? Swede dreams."
Updated: 08:29 Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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