STUNNED disbelief was the general reaction to the news that William Wilberforce topped the poll to find Yorkshire's greatest figure.

Dark talk of vote-fixing met the shock news that York's own Dame Judi Dench had failed to win.

This is the first popularity contest in which JD has not taken the gong since being pipped for best supporting angel in the Clifton Prep nativity play, 1940.

And schoolmates later admitted that was a travesty.

As we reported yesterday, the judges for the BBC-run Yorkshire's Greatest contest ruled out living nominees after Dame Judi got on to the shortlist.

Coincidence... or something more sinister?

We need only compare Wilberforce's record with that of Oscar-garlanded Dench to know the truth. Yes, he abolished world slavery, but did he become the first woman to play James Bond's boss?

And where was his support for our Save The Odeon campaign?

The Diary has stepped in to save the BBC's blushes.

Today we name Dame Judi Dench as our Greatest Lifeform In The Galaxy.

Meanwhile, here is our top five Professional Yorkshiremen:

1 Michael Parkinson

2 Freddie Truman

3 Geoffrey Boycott

4 Bernard Ingham

5 Alan Titchmarsh

INTERESTING to read that a hoard of Viagra-substitute Kamagra was discovered in a raid on a house in Walmgate.

Does this mean the street is finally going up in the world?

PERHAPS there is such a thing as a free lunch. York's two performance poets, Tony Morris and Adrian Spendlow, went for a spot of grub at the Cardamon Indian buffet on George Hudson Street the other day.

Tony had received a two-for-the-price-of-one offer through the post and had invited Adrian along to share his good fortune.

They spent the time eating heartily, quaffing wine and talking variously about their work - Adrian's book Poemspotters and the premiere of Tony's musical poem Street Sounds - plus other literary dilemmas such as whether a comma in a poem should count as a beat, like a rest in music.

They stayed chatting till the lights were turned off. Before leaving Tony disappeared to use the facilities. When he came back Adrian had paid for the drinks and said that was all there was to pay for.

They left and Tony queried this. "Oh," said Adrian, "as I paid, the manager said, 'Give us a good write-up!'"

Now what rhymes with Cardamon?

WHEN it comes to following your football team, there's sad and there's pitiful.

Evening Press correspondent Dan Jones is a Blackpool fan. The team beat Southend at the weekend to clinch that most sought-after piece of silverware, the LDV Vans Trophy.

It was obviously a quiet day for sports news because the result became the lead on the Ceefax football page.

And Dan was so delighted he took a photograph of his television set displaying the teletext verdict. He's not that obsessed, though. He has yet to get the film developed.

KEITH Elsworth from Barley Rise, Strensall, is in touch. Commuters, he believes, are being misled.

"The very large sign on the outskirts of Strensall Reads 'Park and Ride two

miles'.

The distance is not an inch under five miles!"

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:59 Tuesday, March 23, 2004