THEY should have been happy at the prospect of fresh air, swathes of green and house prices which are stupid rather than plain insane.

They had also been spared Gordon Brown's new Budget policy of axe and spend, which will see 40,000 of their colleagues put on the dole to pay for a £20 billion investment in schools and hospitals.

But civil servants, or at least their mouthpieces, were not amused by Sir Michael Lyons's plans to shift some of their jobs out of London and the South East to - among other places - York and Harrogate.

"Engineers, scientists and other specialists operate inside a national labour market and will not allow themselves to be marooned in distant, lower-paid ghettos.

"They will simply move out," bleated Paul Noon, general secretary of managerial and professional staff union Prospect.

Ghetto? Marooned? If ignorance of life outside London is bliss, Mr Noon must be a very happy man.

But the Government departments which took part in the Treasury-ordered review were themselves guilty of, at best, a fear of change.

There was no way a Whitehall department could be moved entirely out of the capital because they had to be based "near the seat of government".

The Commons was staying in the capital - and, therefore, so were the senior, well-paid civil servants.

York would have to make do with the re-location of a limited number of jobs from a couple of as yet unnamed departments, probably including DEFRA.

Hidden away on page 69 of Sir Michael's report to Chancellor Gordon Brown was what he probably considered light-relief in a very heavy document. It listed the seven reasons why civil servants must stay put according to a classic episode of Yes, Prime Minister.

PM Jim Hacker asked his Permanent Secretary, Sir Humphrey, why senior civil servants couldn't live in the North - and received the following list of reasons:

Their wives wouldn't stand for it.

No schools.

Harrods is not in the North

Nor is Wimbledon.

Ditto Ascot

And the Henley Regatta.

Not to mention the Army and Navy Club.

Mr Hacker's diary note concluded: "In short, he argued that civilisation generally would be completely remote. This sort of sacrifice is acceptable to the forces in time of war, but if the move were made in these circumstances morale would undoubtedly suffer."

It was not far from Sir Michael's own conclusion.

He wrote: "The likely destination can be a fraught issue for employees and employer alike, as the extract from Yes, Prime Minister illustrates.

"There continues to be a lively geographical snobbery in this country and locations which are popular are not necessarily those that supply the greatest business advantage to the department."

The subtext? They'll never go north as long as they think it is full of illiterate, pie-munching Luddites.

Of course, Sir Michael could not say that, but it is hinted at in his comment that most government departments had offered to shift "mainly junior posts".

Of the 20,000 suggestions made in total, fewer than three per cent were policy jobs and only 15 per cent were technical or specialist. Most were "human resources, IT or form processing".

Perhaps the only solution is to follow the example of Royal Ascot, which moves - albeit temporarily - to York this year.

Shift Henley, Wimbledon and the rest as well and perhaps the senior civil servants will follow suit.

Until then, no chance.

Updated: 10:21 Friday, March 19, 2004