Wedding belles

THERE is a sense of eager anticipation at York Register Office. The staff have been trained and the certificates have been printed - now all they need is their first happy couple. A change in policy means that lesbian and gay couples can now enjoy "commitment ceremonies" at the register office. They have no legal standing, but these "weddings" are identical to other civil ceremonies in every other respect.

Couples can stand before a registrar and declare their commitment. They can exchange rings if they wish and can enjoy readings and songs with their family and friends. And if, as some people say, marriage is just a piece of paper, they even walk away with that too, in the form of a certificate commemorating their big day.

"There is no legal standing for a ceremony between people of the same gender in this country," said York Superintendent Registrar Robert Livesey. "Ken Livingstone has established a partnership register in his area, but it doesn't mean anything in law.

"We don't have a partnership register here in York, but we are more than happy to carry out commitment ceremonies for couples. It's not a wedding as such, but to all intents and purposes it is a similar ceremony."

The ceremony has been available in York since January, but so far no one has booked their big day. This could be because the service hasn't been advertised or posted on the register office's website yet, or it could simply be that couples are not keen on being the first in line. Whatever the reason, Mr Livesey believes it is only a matter of time before the bookings start rolling in.

"I think there will be a call for these ceremonies in York," he said. "We have had some inquiries, all from women. Maybe it's something to do with men's attitude to commitment."

Manchester Register Office has been running a similar service for six months and has recorded a 50-50 split between gay and lesbian ceremonies. In York, however, women do have something of a track record of getting hitched first.

The first same-sex "wedding" in the city took place between Joan Purdy and Susan Baxter on June 22, 1991, at Guppy's Enterprise Club in Nunnery Lane.

Ms Purdy was a post-graduate student studying health economics at York University when she met Ms Baxter, who worked at York Women's Centre.

"We just wanted to legitimise our relationship and show our commitment to each other," said Ms Purdy, speaking to the Press seven years later at the time of York's second lesbian wedding.

Deborah Woodhall and Leonie James' ceremony was blessed by a sympathetic minister at the Swallow Hotel on October 3, 1998.

Leoni wore a gold silk evening dress and silk top hat, while Deborah opted for a jacket, waistcoat, gold cravat and black trousers.

A horse-drawn carriage took them to the hotel, where they were met by 100 family, friends, neighbours and workmates before exchanging their vows.

Shortly before jetting off for a two-week honeymoon in Florida, Leoni said: "To us, the ceremony is a wedding. The only difference is it's not legal."

That could all change next year when new legislation is introduced concerning same-sex partnerships. As yet, no one knows how far the legislation will go, but it could mean that gay weddings will be legal in Britain for the first time.

"I'm hopeful that things will change in 2005," said Mr Livesey. "But in the meantime, I know that a lot couples treat their commitment ceremonies the same as a wedding. In Manchester, their intention to commit is even posted on the noticeboard.

"To avoid confusion, we are not going to do that in York until the statute comes in to say that gay couples have the same rights as other married couples. Otherwise, regardless of what we tell them, couples might think they have the same rights, which, at the moment, they don't."

Church blessings for same-sex weddings are still rare, but they do happen. Minister Margaret Kirk carried out York's first blessing at the Unitarian Chapel in St Saviourgate two years ago.

"The tradition of the Unitarian Church," she explained, "is one of freedom, reason and tolerance and we welcome gay and lesbian people into our ministry. We have quite a few ministers who are gay."

Something of which you can be pretty sure President George Bush would not approve. The US leader has called for an amendment to his country's cherished constitution to ban gay weddings and define marriage as being only between a man and a woman.

His outburst came after San Francisco made a revolutionary civil rights gesture last month by opening up City Hall to same sex couples who wanted to tie the knot. Days later, the town of New Paltz in upstate New York followed suit, holding 25 ceremonies and taking applications for 800 more.

The fact that the mayor of San Francisco was willing to defy not only George Bush but California governor Arnold "Terminator" Schwarzenegger too says something about the depth of feeling about this issue in America at the moment.

Back here in the UK, things are a little quieter.

"We're all trained and ready," said Mr Livesey, who is employed by a private company called Civil Ceremonies and not the city council to carry out this kind of service. "The training is all about presentation and use of language.

"When you do a regular marriage it's obvious who's the bride and who's the groom. In a gay ceremony you have to be careful about names and about who says what first. But that's usually easily sorted out with the couple beforehand.

"You also have to be aware that some members of staff might not be comfortable doing these ceremonies. Luckily, all my staff have volunteered and are ready when our first couple decides to take the plunge."

Updated: 09:32 Friday, March 05, 2004