PEERS and MPs had trains on the brain this week: the beloved Flying Scotsman, its clapped-out modern day equivalents which are, apparently, too small for fat people and those with broken-down loos. The difference between past and present could not have been more stark.

MPs are desperate to keep the world's most famous steam loco in Britain at the National Railway Museum in York.

They have been quick to sign an Early Day Motion which calls for the Government and the Heritage Lottery Fund to safeguard the Scotsman's future.

It should not under any circumstance be allowed to go overseas if it is auctioned by its cash-strapped owner, Flying Scotsman PLC.

Ryedale's John Greenway summed up the mood, saying: "York has the pre-eminent steam railway museum not just in Europe but probably in the world.

"The Flying Scotsman is the most famous locomotive in the world. It would be fitting for that locomotive to be secured for the nation and for that museum.

"The Heritage Lottery Project is in a position to support such projects, since it is a national museum, and I think most people would agree it is the right thing to do."

It is doubtful whether politicians would strain even a muscle to keep today's rolling stock on home soil. In fact, they would probably help to load them on to the ship if they could be sure the trains wouldn't be sent straight back.

One MP - who, for GNER's sake, I should point out is not from Yorkshire - told a bladder-achingly funny story about his journey to London at the start of this week.

All the trains toilets were "out of order" so it had an extended stop at each of the ten stops en-route to London for passengers to get off, answer the call of nature and get back on again.

This led to acute embarrassment for those bursting to go - as their fellow travellers watched them rush over foot-bridges to reach the nearest WC.

Takings from the buffet car were not up to much either, according to the MP.

"It was a two-and-a-half hour journey and there can be no excuse for not having a toilet working," he complained.

Over in the House of Lords, they were experiencing similar discomfort.

Viscount Allenby of Megiddo wanted to know why, when compared to our continental neighbours, trains run so badly, break down and run against time.

Lord Davies of Oldham, the Government's spokesman, said investment in the railways was being increased to £4.3 billion by 2005/6.

Earl Peel said: "My Lords, does the Minister agree that if animals were subjected to the same level of overcrowding in transport as human beings are in the train service in this country, that would almost certainly be in breach of European regulations?"

Lord Davies said he had heard that point before.

Baroness Oppenheim-Barnes said passengers were suffering on overcrowded platforms, as well as trains. Lord Davies said this was because, in some cases, the trains were longer than the platforms.

Lord McNally called for an end to the anachronism of first-class travel, which left regular commuters with faces pressed against the doors of empty luxury carriages.

It was up to the train companies, Lord Davies said.

Then Lord Hunt of Kings Heath chipped in: "My Lords, has my noble friend noticed that as the nation seems to get fatter and fatter, the seats on our trains get thinner and thinner?"

Lord Davies could not sensibly answer that one.

Updated: 10:34 Friday, March 05, 2004