THEY knew how to treat miscreants in the good old days. While we give them a slap on the wrist, our forebears gave them a slap on the neck with a steely blade.

The tiniest act of treachery and your head would be separated from your shoulders quicker than you could say Strepsil. Then your bonce would be shoved on a spike and hoisted above Micklegate Bar.

And that gave us an idea. Inside the Micklegate Bar Museum is a painting with a hole in. Stick your head through and hey presto, it looks to have been impaled on a pikestaff above York's royal gateway.

Museum curator David Mason, pictured demonstrating the exhibit, asks readers: "Whose head would you stick on Micklegate Bar today, and why?"

We would love your suggestions. They could be national or local figures, famous people or someone we've never heard of but you just think deserves being lopped down to size.

Our lawyers insist we can't actually behead anyone. But we can mock up a picture.

Prizes for the best suggestions; contact details below.

GOOD news ladies. Britain's premier diarist published in a York evening newspaper is still available.

Leap Year Day yesterday was the moment for women to pop the question to their favourite chaps. Yet despite this golden opportunity, the question was left very much unpopped in this vicinity.

And that was despite our discreet but seductive advert placed in Airfix Modeller Magazine (incorporating Uhu Monthly): "Eligible man-about-town seeks woman. Pulse an advantage. I boast nearly a full set of teeth and a pair of matching bicycle clips, worn out. (And sometimes in)."

WHAT is going on with our weather forecasters? They keep warning us of severe Siberian-style conditions which will bring Yorkshire to a standstill, and then half an inch of sleet falls.

And the authorities over-react. The other day our road was snow-free but we couldn't move because of a 6ft grit drift.

It gets stranger. A friend spotted a weather report on Ceefax last Thursday night which said York was at risk from "organised bands of snow".

Conspiracy theories flourish these days, but are our meteorologists really suggesting that the clouds are plotting against us?

And what about "disorganised bands of snow": will they arrive sometime in June?

CHURCH leaders are delighted that York council has backed down on street parking bans which would have forced worshippers to "pay to pray".

"Christians ought to be able to attend places of worship in the city centre without incurring parking charges," said the Archbishop of York. Quite right. Once they have paid the Minster admission fee, there's nothing left for the meter.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:31 Monday, March 01, 2004