HELMETS off to Della Cannings and the rest of the North Yorkshire police think tank for the latest money-making ruse - a premium rate bobby hotline. Has there ever been a better example of boys-in-blue skies thinking?

Just imagine it. You see some spotty herbert with a spray can redecorating the city walls and reach for your handset.

A couple of rings later and you're through. "Ello, ello, ello. Welcome to Call-A-Cop. If you know the number of the officer you want, please key it in now. Otherwise, hold for the menu.

"Thank-you for holding. If you are being mugged press one. If you have witnessed a crime, press two. If you have detained a burglar in your home, ring your solicitor. We'll be round to arrest you in the morning.

"If you require guidance on the new cannabis law, press the hash key.

"Thank you. Unfortunately, all our officers are busy at the moment, what with the paperwork and all.

"Please continue to hold. Your money is important to us."

And there are so many telephone spin-offs the force could introduce. Lonely? Feeling frisky? Then call the premium rate Uniform Line and get an easy PC to take down your particulars.

Or download the latest police ringtone for your mobile: "Nee naw nee naw nee naw..."

Just check with whoever pays the old Bill first.

WE also loved the money-making suggestions from the caller to Radio York this morning: three-wheeled police cars, to save on tyres; shorter officers for cheaper uniforms; and turn the station cells into a B&B.

STILL with law and order, just who is that moustachioed felon in the poster highlighting the South Bank surveillance scheme?

The police mug shot features under the slogan, "Film star today, criminal record tomorrow".

He is in fact 27-year-old York criminal Scott Anderson - York County, Pennsylvania that is. He's wanted for "parole violation with intent to deliver", whatever that might mean, and is listed alongside a host of other unsavoury types on the FBI Most Wanted list.

Poster creator Mick Milner, of HBA Design, admits that Scott is probably unaware of his new found fame. He said: "We wanted to pick someone who was unlikely to turn up and claim royalties."

CHILDREN at one York school were certainly bucking the health trend yesterday. Pupils at St Aeldred's Primary School, Fifth Avenue, were showing off their fitness routine at the Next Generation gym.

As the Evening Press reported last month, they are taking part in a six-week pilot health programme.

And the BBC cameras were there to record their commendable health kick in response to yesterday's report about the British "obesity timebomb".

First they were filmed at length for BBC News 24. Then they had to keep going for the people preparing the BBC3 bulletin.

"The poor little so-and-sos kept having to pedal away on the exercise bikes for shot after shot," said an onlooker.

"They were fit - to drop."

"FRIEND of the stars" Eddie Vee has more on I'm A Celebrity winner Kerry McFadden.

"We met up when we were both appearing on This Morning with Richard and Judy. "We were among the first people to know she was dating Bryan from Westlife and that they were going to have a quick engagement.

"All the family met Kerry and agreed she was really genuine and fun and had bags of energy - although she was only a size eight or ten then.

"Now she is much more 'voluptuous' - a real down to earth mum, and I really believe she deserved to win her Celebrity crown."

Updated: 11:33 Thursday, February 12, 2004