HAS anyone produced a calendar where the photographic subjects keep their clothes on? The official Hugh Bayley Calendar 2004 shows the York MP in a variety of revealing poses...

Only joking. In reality it is the Castleford Tigers rugby team doing the time-lapse nudity gig. And for some reason this rather fleshy offering was sent to colleague Stephen Lewis.

Steve took one look at a naked Aussie squatting with a stuffed crocodile and thrust it in the Diary's direction.

There is some interest for York sports fans because it features Tigers' coach Graham "Steady" Steadman, a hero of the York side which reached the Challenge Cup semi-final in 1984.

Nevertheless, if anyone has a 2004 calendar featuring people with their clothes on, the Diary will happily swap.

IT'S good to be optimistic, but we cannot help wondering whether Riccall impresario Michael Luck was hoping for too much. He organised this weekend's inaugural concert by York Philharmonic Orchestra, now postponed. Ticket prices were no less than £45 and £60. A case of hard sell, hard-up, hard Luck?

AS we mentioned on Monday, if you stick a mobile phone to your ear while driving, you can now be fined.

Thank goodness the confusion has ended, because even before this new law, the police could have prosecuted you for phone/driving under some regulation or other.

So imagine the dilemma Press man Bill Hearld was in when he met up with a senior police officer from North Yorkshire headquarters some time ago.

They had arranged to meet in a pub on the outskirts of York but it was closed for lunch. They got into their respective cars heading for another location, Bill in the lead.

His mobile phone rang on the seat beside him and it was Hobson's choice - miss the call or risk picking up the phone while one of the county's top cops was right behind him.

What the hell, he picked up the phone and tried to hide the offending contraption in his luxuriant locks.

"Hello," said Bill. "Hello," said the officer driving along behind him. "I've thought of another pub we can go to, if you turn right here..."

YORK'S electronic traffic message signs continue to impress. After we reported on Monday that weekend parking troubles were exacerbated when the blinking things froze, James Gilpin of Pocklington contacted us.

"No doubt parking problems were also caused on Saturday morning when these wonderful signs were telling the arriving motorists that 400 car spaces were available in St George's Field, which was of course being used as a coach park!"

Isn't technology wonderful?

AS promised, here are some proposals for a new name for the Diary. Several readers have rung in with ideas based around your diarist's monicker.

John Sparnham, of Selby, was first off the mark with Tittle-Tattle. "If you look at the Oxford English Dictionary, the noun is petty gossip," he says. This idea is also favoured by Mrs Page of Acomb, while Susan Smith of Hull Road, York, goes for Titley's Tittle-Tattle.

Meanwhile we have two votes for Titbits, from Bill Cooper of Newton on Ouse and Roy Stringer of Bootham, York. G Alderson, of Willow Rise, Tadcaster, suggests Gabble or Babble. Christine Atkinson came up with no fewer than five ideas, including York Talk, Ebor Jaw and Chatterbox (she also nominates the Hull Road dairy as the city's worst eyesore).

RT Stewart of Shipton Road dreamt up Mr Peep's Diary, because we peep into what's going on and "you may well turn out to be a new Mr Pepys!" Thank you for such Michael Luck-like optimism, RT.

Colleague Jack Childe has a typically concise offering: Eh? And Heworth's Andrew Jenkinson has plumped for a pun, with More(s) Of The Posers.

Finally, prolific correspondent Dale Minks goes for "Diarrhoea-y - daily words from the paper's bottom."

Thanks a bunch, Dale.

These are all under consideration. Except Dale's. If the Diary limps into a second week, more news then.

Updated: 10:11 Friday, December 05, 2003