"SO I says to Harry Potter, if you poke me one more time with that broomstick I'll set Mrs Norris on you..."

Hogwarts' bad-tempered caretaker Angus Filch, aka York-born actor David Bradley, was in deep conversation with Yorkie the Minstermen mascot at Bootham Crescent last weekend, see right.

Although the man originally from Burton Stone Lane now lives down south and is a movie superstar - his role in the Harry Potter films ensures he is recognised worldwide - his heart belongs to York City.

We can only speculate what man and beast were discussing. Perhaps they were comparing the best conditioners for their respective manes.

Or maybe Yorkie was trying to pitch his screenplay: Harry Potter and the Lion of Brass.

City could certainly do with some Harry Potter-esque magic to spellbind the opposition. Alternatively, David might reprise two of his previous roles - as Jesus in the York Mystery Plays and God at the National Theatre - and attempt a divine intervention on the team's behalf.

SPEAKING of lions... "I have just been into the centre of York this lunchtime and witnessed the edifying spectacle of fully grown adults cavorting in lion suits," emails James Morrell.

"Those of a nervous disposition need not worry though: apparently, it's all part of York police's latest campaign against crime.

"Extensive research undertaken by the police's Intelijence sic Unit has revealed that the deployment of lions (not real lions) in an urban environment is the only proven way of curtailing crime and disorder. But I would like to take issue with is the campaign's slogan: 'Be brave - be a lion'. Are lions particularly brave? Surely attacking other animals barely one third one's own height and body weight is not a sign of bravery, but rather cowardice, pure and simple?"

A quick plea. We had many entries to the Yorkatt caption competition a few weeks' back. Unfortunately, cartoonist Wolf has mislaid the winning entry, which showed the first two speech bubbles blank, then Yorkatt saying to Eric: "So that's the latest royal scandal!"

Could the author get in touch (details below) so we can get the prize to you?

EVERYONE loves the York Christmas lights don't they? Frankly, no. Chris Boxall of York Road, Shiptonthorpe was moved to express his distaste in verse:

Eight hundred and ninety five

thousand pounds to bruise

the beautiful face of the Minster.

A gross purple shadow, made to spread

across her features. Now a sour green

obscures and mocks sublime mysteries.

Aghast, the pilgrims stand

before a gaudy joke, a piece

of Gothic pantomime scenery

In keeping with a century

not noted for its subtlety.

LESS than a week old, and the Diary has already attracted its first solicitor's letter. It came in response to our naming Evening Press chief reporter Mike Laycock's desk in the top five York eyesores.

"There is an astonishing beauty in the awesome natural landscape represented here - the mountainous craggy ridges of papers, the crests of books, the discarded plastic cups, once full of coffee but now empty of all but a few dregs, symbolising the desk's tormented and empty inner soul," emails Will Sue, of Soddit and Sue Solicitors.

"In fact, the Tate Modern has already commenced negotiations for the acquisition of the said furniture."

It will make Tracy Emin's bed look positively hygienic.

MRS BR responded to the Diary's invitation to ring in with a rant, and had a go... at us.

"What are you going to do about that Union Jack wrapped around your flagpole? It's a disgrace," she said, adding she had complained before to no avail.

We have had a word with the powers-that-be, Mrs R. Apparently the angle of the pole outside our luxurious Walmgate office suite is the problem.

When at Coney Street, the Evening Press had the traditional straight-up mast, perfect for fluttering. But planning permission for a vertical pole in Walmgate was turned down.

It may be that the flag is now removed completely. Then we will have an empty flagpole.

Any suggestions as to what we might hang from it?

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 10:12 Thursday, December 04, 2003