HAIR the one about the hirsute comedian? York comedy guru Dan Atkinson was being whisked off to glitzy London today to be given a wash, trim and brush-up all at the BBC's expense.
Wait for the complaints: "Dear BBC, Why oh why are long-suffering licence fee payers footing the bill for this shaggy layabout to be plucked and preened? Bring back National Service, that's what I say."
Well, it's all in a good cause - to advance science. Body Hits, a show on digital channel BBC3, wants to see whether changing Dan's appearance will affect his performance. As a comedian, that is.
Last Sunday, he was filmed compering at his place, the Other Side Comedy Club at City Screen on Coney Street, complete with untamed beard and mad hair. Today he will be buffed and shaved, combed and gelled, and fitted for a new suit at some place called Harvey Nichols.
Then the Beeb will return to film Dan's next Other Side gig on December 14 to see if his smart new look has changed his funniness.
He was picked by the BBC for this experiment because he is the shaggiest comedian since Billy Connolly.
"I am one of the laziest people around," he confessed. "I have always been a bit dirty."
Losing lots of the locks will be quite a culture shock.
"I have been growing the beard for six months and I'm really fond of it," said Dan. "It's a little bit patchy but apart from that it's fine."
Will smartness change him? "No. I am still me," he insists. We will wait and see whether he will be shorn, Samson-like, of his comic powers.
INCIDENTALLY, it was Dan who introduced the Diary to a new game involving the Evening Press. It is very simple. You just study the wedding photographs we publish and ask: "Who won?"
THE snooker stars were mainly holed up at the Barbican or their hotels while the UK Championship took place last week. But we do have one confirmed sighting of Willie Thorne and John Virgo out in the wider city - at a betting shop in Walmgate.
Tom Hartley, landlord of the Brown Cow pub on Hope Street, said the pair of ball-potters were charming, although Willie refused to give him a top tip for the 3.30.
Sadly, the duo did not pop round to the Brown Cow for a drink. But Tom thought this might have been just as well.
Although he has smartened up the place, he still thought regulars might mistake fellows in bow ties for bouncers.
Meanwhile, the sponsors of the tournament, Travis Perkins, plan to donate one of the full-sized tables used in the tournament, signed by the semi-finalists, to the best community cause in Britain.
TALKING of potholes, we return to Layerthorpe. The area's inclusion on our list of York's worst eyesores yesterday did not impress Chris Elliott. She is a Layerthorpian and rang up to mount a stirring defence of the beleaguered borough.
"My husband and I and the cats all live here. My little house is pretty and has a garden," she said.
"Since I moved here six or seven years ago they have got rid of the scrapyards and improved the bridge."
So what inspirational vista does she enjoy out of her windows? "I have got a beautiful view of ATS," said Chris. "And guess what I can see from the back garden? The gas holder."
She would like to see Stonebow House replace Layerthorpe on the eyesores list - because some children once threw snowballs at her from the Sixties structure.
Any more eyesore observations welcome.
POTENTIAL new names for this column are quite literally arriving. We'll run down some of the suggestions soon.
Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN
Email diary@ycp.co.uk
Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337
Updated: 10:18 Wednesday, December 03, 2003
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