"If men start getting silly, I ask them what their wives might think. That usually sorts them out"

MENTION the words "au pair" in mixed company and about half the men will start sniggering. The other half will be too busy fantasising about being told off by a 19-year-old blonde Swede to participate further in the conversation.

"I have come across this strange attitude British people - particularly British men - have to au pairs," said Karin von Bismarck, owner of the Family Au Pair agency in Precentor's Court, just yards from York Minster. "If men start getting silly, I ask them what their wives might think. That usually sorts them out."

Karin, an assertive, straight-talking German with perfect English, worked as an au pair in the United States before setting up her own agency in Germany. She transferred her operation to York in April.

"We came here for my husband's job," she said. "But I saw immediately there was a need for au pairs; a ready-made market. There is no other agency, so business has been brisk."

The women on her books are mainly from Germany, Poland, Switzerland, Romania and Turkey. They come to the UK for six weeks to two years, living with and working for a family in exchange for free bed and board and £50 spending money a week.

"I always look for people who want to take a girl in as part of their family," said Karin. "She is not just a cleaner and live-in babysitter, although she will do the cleaning and be available for evening babysitting two or three nights a week. Their working week should be about 25-30 hours. But it's difficult to pin down: is laying the dinner table work or just part of family life?"

She insists that her au pairs get two days off a week and that they have their own room. She also suggests that they have access to language classes, use of a car and a TV, stereo and kettle in their bedroom.

"They need to retain their independence," she said. "And it helps the family hold on to their privacy too. It's not as if the au pair is going to be sitting between them on the sofa as they watch television, but they are going to have another person living in their house."

The main thrust of an au pair's job is to care for the children, playing with them and providing light meals. Everyone on Karin's books has some experience with children, some as teachers. All are police checked, have personal and child care references, and are interviewed at length by Karin and by the family.

"Au pairs are an extra pair of hands around the house, but they are also an extra educational tool for the children," she said. "Children are very fast learners. This is a wonderful opportunity for them to pick up another language."

That's what's in it for the families. But why do these well-educated young women want to come to England? Education, education, education...

Josephine, 24, from Germany: (speaking with Karin as her interpreter) "I wanted a new cultural experience. I arrived two weeks ago and, although it takes time to settle with a family, things seem fine. We are not here looking for an Englishman to marry. That's not right at all. Most of us are here to study."

Ilona, 26, from Poland: "I like to work with children and I love travelling, so this is perfect. I found my family easy to settle in with. You have to understand that it's difficult for the family too. Luckily, mine have had au pairs before so they know what to expect. I enjoy living in York. It's a lovely, welcoming city. The weather is a bit hard on us, but there is nothing we can do about that."

Monica, 20, from Poland: (looks after Karin's four children) "I wanted to come to England because I want to be a teacher. I love children and I love English. This is a good opportunity to learn the language better and get to know about the culture of England."

Anna, 25, from Poland: "I don't want a husband. I am single and I am happy with that. I used to work as a teacher in Poland. If I learn to speak English fluently I can teach English in Poland. I should get a certificate of proficiency in about two years. This will get me a good job in Poland. I am already a qualified teacher, but fluent English means a better job. Everyone speaks English: it could take me around the world."

Luise, 19, from Germany: "I decided two years ago that I would come to England after A-levels for a cultural experience. I had a good English education at school, but it is not the same as learning about England in England. I have three brothers and sisters at home, so I know how to deal with children. This is not work, it's just living with a family. I am the big sister of the children and the friend of the parents."

Nicole, 25, from Switzerland: (has just joined the agency after being left high and dry by another) "I was a teacher for two years, but I felt the need to get out of Switzerland. This was always my big dream. My agency didn't support me so I had to organise everything myself. Luckily, my family was very supportive and helpful - they even helped me to get my York Card. I'm not sure I could have handled it if I had been only 18 or 19.

"I would recommend girls use a good agency that looks after you, not just an introduction agency. I felt a little alone at first, but in a way that was good because it meant I had to make lots of English friends. People are very reserved in Switzerland, but here people talk to me all the time."

See? Not a 19-year-old blonde Swede in sight. Sorry boys.

If you would like more information, call Karin van Bismarck at Family Au Pair on 01904 620758 or 07734 209 617. You can also check out the website at www.familyaupair.com or send an email to familyaupair@uk2.net

Updated: 09:30 Tuesday, December 02, 2003