JUSTIN ditched Britney; Justin got his hands on Kylie's booty at the Brits; then Britney snogged Madonna as Justin looked on impassively from the MTV Awards audience.

The stakes go ever higher, the hipsters ever lower, in pop's sex wars, and it cannot be coincidental that the blonde-on-blonde war comes to a head with simultaneous releases for the equally assertive Aussie and American dream pin-up. Pop war, what is it good for? Absolutely everything in boosting sales in a flagging market.

Their precision-tooled albums are remarkably similar. Mouths are alluringly slightly open on the CD cover portraits, with further fantasy poses inside, because in their world of designer-label pop, the body matters as much as the body of songs.

What of those songs, where the fantasy must face the reality check? Like models in catwalk frocks, their music is adorned with the most fashionable names that money can buy: the cream of the production and songwriting talent du jour.

At 35, Kylie is 14 years older than mere kitten Britney, and she has learnt the Madonna trick of re-invention. She went back to her disco pop roots on 2000's Light Years, camped out on last year's Fever and has moved on again, a curvier Kylie cooing to retro Eighties' grooves. Nothing represents that better than her ninth British number one, Slow, all the hotter for taking it slowly; her Body Language utterly confident.

Kylie knows she is loved. By contrast, on her fourth album, Britney loves herself (quite literally on the self-explanatory Touch Of My Hand) but she is less sure how everyone else feels. So she rakes in celebrity candy support from Madonna for Me Against The Music and has the Ying Yang Twins worshipping at her altar on (I Got That) Boom Boom. Amid the bump'n'grind, she keeps telling you what a great time you will have in or out with Britney. Where Kylie wants to please, humourless Britney merely wants to tease, and all that cheap talk of sex must be so exhausting.

Like Kylie and Britney, Neighbours escapee Holly Valance had a British number one with her debut single (and goes for that open-mouth look on her latest cover shot too). After Kiss Kiss, her second album is more miss miss. She pins her colours to the retro mast but only Hypnotic and the title track stand out from the crowd. It could all be over for Holly by next Christmas.

Updated: 09:31 Thursday, November 20, 2003