THERE'S a piece by a well-known newspaper columnist in which he tells how his life has become little more than a side show for his weekly 500 words that I keep in a pile of yellowing cuttings at home.

Not because I suffer that burden myself. But because his description of crashing a bicycle, in which he composes five lines before hitting the ground, always makes me smile.

In a way you hope for the crash, bang, wallop of a tumbling two-wheeler when heading out to undertake a review. Many meals are perfectly pleasant, but nice food and inoffensive surroundings rarely make copy that's destined for someone's fading memories.

Which brings us to Cliffords, formerly known as Franoise, tucked away in Castlegate. Restaurateurs relax, the meal was fine. But there were a few hiccups, and let's just say that when I asked my girlfriend if she had any change for a tip, she burst out laughing.

The evening got off to a bad start when the waitress denied all knowledge of our reservation. After a short debate we were spared the embarrassment of pointing it out in the diary when she offered us a table anyway.

It took us a few minutes to survey the lengthy menu and make friends with the smiling diners around us, who probably thought we were persistent late-evening blaggers who hadn't been able to find a table elsewhere.

The menu is quirky, rich and varied with dishes drawn together from all over the world and linked by a thread of hearty French cooking. There were no specials, which was just as well as we are painfully indecisive at the table.

Starters for all tastes weigh in at around the £4.50 mark. Catherine went for Cantonese smoked duck pancakes, (£5.95) which filled the plate and arrived unexpectedly cold. But she polished it off, bean sprouts, peppers and all.

I also quickly demolished a black pudding hash with apple syrup (£4.25). It was a fabulous mixture of savoury pudding, sweet apple and warm crunchiness.

For main course there are modern continental salads (which can also be bought as starters), wholesome pastas such as cannelloni Neapolitan with Bayonne ham or an impressive range of fish dishes.

We went straight and simple from the meat menu with braised lamb shank Provenal for me (£13.25) and coq au vin (£8.95) for her. The large lamb joint was soft and tender after being slow cooked in a wine and herb sauce and came with roasted peppers.

Catherine was a little overwhelmed by her spread of meaty chicken legs and wings, which were temptingly falling from the bone after being casseroled in red wine with mushrooms and bacon.

Both meals were ideal for a cold York evening and I was tempted to ask for a spoon to get stuck in to my left over gravy. Looking back, bread would have been handy, but none seemed to be on offer.

For dessert we shared a crme brulee (£3.50) of thick, cold custard which came with an unexpected coating of icing sugar. It sent us giggling in a cloud of sweet dust as we struggled to eat and breathe at the same time.

After wandering the restaurant for some milk to go with our coffees, we received the wrong bill. It turned out that the adjacent table got ours and legged it before anyone noticed, at a saving of £20. How mean.

But it wasn't the only mistake of the evening. A well-dressed man had earlier borrowed our menu and found he had been overcharged. It was quickly and apologetically put right and he seemed hardly bothered, proclaiming the food "delicious".

Anyway, we shrugged, settled the bill for £51.40, found some change for a tip and wandered home with the remains of our bottle of Shiraz (£12.50 - very tasty since you ask).

All in all, the food is good, the early evening set menu looks excellent value at £13.95 and everyone we asked said they were entertained by the experience. Should you give Cliffords a try? Just remember to take your sense of humour with you - and watch out for bicycles.

Cliffords, Castlegate, York.

01904 612744

Chris and Catherine visited Cliffords on Saturday November 8.

Updated: 11:33 Saturday, November 15, 2003