Should we be able to choose the sex of our child?

Yes says Sara Waddington, 25, from Everingham, near Pocklington, mother of triplets Joe, Ross and Jake.

MY husband Carl and I love our three boys dearly, but would like a girl to complete our family. I'm not in favour or sex selection for a first child, but I think it should be allowed to create a balanced family.

I'd really like to have a girl, but I know if I had another child and it was a boy I'd want to keep going. You see some families with six boys which finally finish with a girl. But I don't think it's good for the ecology of the country to have lots of children.

Carl doesn't want a brood of children, so if we did have another child and it was a boy that would probably be the end of the line - unless we could use sex selection.

I don't see a problem this and I don't think it's the 'thin end of the wedge'. Most people just want a healthy baby. It wouldn't occur to me to want a certain hair colour. I don't know if the technology exists to offer people these choices.

I want a girl, simply because I have three boys. If I had three girls, I'd want a boy.

There's such a difference between boys and girls and I would like to have the experience of raising both. It's great for dads to be able to play football with their sons and do boys things, and it's the same for women. I'll never be able to relate 100 per cent to boys because I don't know what it's like to be one. But my husband does. Likewise, if we had a girl, I'd understand her problems and be able to help her in a special way.

The decision by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority to ban sex selection except on medical grounds is very disappointing.

I can understand where people are coming from who fear it is 'messing with nature', but I don't think it is. Not that many people would want to use the procedure - certainly not enough for it to interfere with the natural balance of girls and boys in our society.

I am concerned the HFEA was influenced by research which showed a high percentage of the public was opposed to sex selection for cases like mine. Many people have a knee-jerk response to this issue and say 'we shouldn't tamper with God's way', but I wonder if they might take a different view if they knew the facts - that it wouldn't be for everyone, just a very small minority.

I don't think there would be such opposition if people knew all the reasons why people wanted sex selection. It's not going to cause a problem for anyone, so it doesn't make sense to ban it.

The fact that you can have the procedure in the US and British couples have gone to Europe for it too means it is already happening, so it seems silly for the UK to say we can't do it here.

No, says Heather Causnett, York mum of two grown-up sons.

I AM 100 per cent against parents being given the automatic right to choose the sex of their child. It goes against nature. Parents should consider their child a blessing and love them whatever they are like. Mothers and fathers of the most dreadfully disabled children love them completely because they are part of them.

I have two sons. Like most people I would have liked one of each. When pregnant the second time, I was sure it was going to be a daughter, so I was disappointed for a few seconds when another son arrived. But then I loved him to bits, and could not imagine life without him.

Sadly we are moving away from a time when parents see a child as a gift. Instead they view them almost as an accessory.

I can understand why parents with six boys would want to be able to choose to have a daughter. But I am old fashioned enough to accept what is given to me.

People seem to think they have a right to decide, but you are talking about a child, not a washing machine. It is wrong to take control of that part of life. You are going against your own genetic make-up, and pandering to personal whims.

And suppose something went wrong: the child was born of the "wrong" sex. What are you going to do: send it back? Sue?

Allowing parents to select their baby's gender is the thin end of the wedge. Next, people would demand to have the right to choose the eye or hair colour, or whatever else they want.

If you want a child with very dark hair, go and marry a Spaniard or an Italian; or if you prefer blond hair marry a Norwegian. After all, love seems to have such a low priority in relationships today, especially for women. But don't expect to design your baby from scratch.

The welfare of the child is often forgotten. A child selected in this way would have a right to feel hurt that they were chosen for their sex or their eye colour, rather than being born simply out of two people's love for one another, to be part of a family.

Some parents need a second child of a certain sex to save the life of an earlier child. I realise if you are faced with that terrible situation you would want to do everything you could.

But you would still have to explain what had happened to the later child, who might feel they were second best for being brought into the world for their brother or sister's sake.

Parents should not be able to choose the sex of their baby. They should accept their child as a blessing, and give it the same unconditional love as the child will give them.

Updated: 10:03 Thursday, November 13, 2003