Guy Fawkes could have made a very big noise at Westminster, scientists decided on Wednesday after almost 400 years of deliberation. If the Gunpowder Plot had been a success, the blast from more than two tons of explosive would have made a bonfire of the House of Commons and Westminster Abbey.

Geraint Thomas, of the centre for explosion studies at the University of Wales, explained: "Guy Fawkes was an expert in explosives and so knew what he was doing".

As thousands of effigies of the York St Peter's School old boy went up in flames, Tory plotters had their own send off to attend.

It had taken only two years for them to work out "quiet man" Iain Duncan Smith was not going to make any noise at all.

But he still had one last crack at Prime Minister's Questions before Michael Howard completed his journey from the shadows to the party leadership yesterday.

While IDS didn't quite manage to go out in a blaze of glory, he did put on a decent farewell show.

Relaxed and with no evidence of the "frog" - dubbed Freddie - which often gave the impression he was choking at the Despatch Box, he warned Tony Blair he had developed a "sixth sense" on leadership bids and to "watch very carefully".

Gordon Brown was waiting to stick the knife in, he said, and for once the Prime Minister looked a bit sheepish.

There was self-deprecation - on the EU Constitution he told Mr Blair: "I have asked this question 18 times before - a fat lot of good it has done me over the past two years - but I'm going to attempt it one more time..."

Wit, too. Still on the constitution, he said: "This week your Deputy Prime Minister announced three more referendums on regional government. "That takes the total of referendums under this Government to 37 since 1997.

"Are you really telling all of us that an elected assembly for Hull, an elected monkey for Hartlepool, are more important than an elected president for Europe?"

Then, as Foreign Secretary Jack Straw grew agitated about claims the constitution was a big deal for Britain and not a "tidying up exercise, he quipped: "Steady on, Jack".'

Even Tony Blair had something nice to say: "Whatever our differences, and there have been a few, I wish you well in the future and so does everyone on this side of the House and, I'm sure, the whole House," he said.

All the MPs cheered and, afterwards, even his most violent critics agreed he had done OK. In part, this was because no one likes to speak ill of the dead - particularly at the funeral.

But IDS can perhaps look forward to the history books - rather than the book reviewers who have already savaged his debut novel, Devil's Tune - being kind.

After all, Horrible Histories author Terry Deary this week said Guy Fawkes was a hero and a freedom-fighter who had been "misrepresented".

Instead of burning a Guy on your bonfire, he said, people should be burning a dummy of "cruel King James 1".

This suggests - in the long-term - there is hope for everyone. The question for now is, under Mr Howard, is there hope for his party or are we two years away from yet another bonfire?

You know what they say about Tories: they're always keen to keep the home fires burning.

Updated: 10:23 Friday, November 07, 2003