NEWS of a rare turkey's return could not have come at a better time. As bird lovers celebrate this comeback, followers of politics are marvelling at another resurgence.

Yes, the great bustard is back. And just watch your vowels when reading further. We wouldn't want any unnecessary confusion to ensue.

The feathered version is a heavy-weight turkey, the world's portliest flying bird. With luck, and perhaps a shove, the great bustard could soon once more be making it into the air. If a new project goes ahead, up to 40 great bustard chicks will be released each year on Salisbury Plain.

Away from the great outdoors, indeed in the foul indoors, British politics has seen the surprising re-emergence of another old bird. This particular bustard takes the sleek shape of Michael Howard, the man now given the task of putting life back into the Conservative party.

To have read some national newspapers in recent days, you could have been forgiven for thinking Mr Howard had swooped out of a blue sky wearing a Superman outfit. He has, as it were, laid his eggs on the doorstep of Number Ten and will soon be hatching a new government.

He is "a consummate veteran politician", "he looks and talks like a leader", and he has "the brains and edginess to drag the Conservatives into the 21st century" (News Of The World, The Sun, Daily Telegraph).

And the Daily Mail was really wetting its pants at the Tories' outbreak of "common sense, unity, loyalty and discipline". "Dare to believe" the paper opined as it celebrated the "Coronation Of King Howard".

Hang on a minute. Isn't this the same Michael Howard who was once regarded with such suspicion that he came fifth out of a poll of five in the leadership contest that landed his party with William Hague? Isn't this the same Michael Howard who was once tainted with Ann Widdecombe's gothic brush for "having something of the night" about him?

If Howard limped in last place six years ago, how come he is now regarded as the shiny new hope? The answer is that the Tories were in a blind panic about how they were seen by the world. They shoved the hopeless Iain Duncan Smith out of one door, the knife still quivering in his pinstriped back, and pushed Howard towards the tattered throne, sighing with relief that someone - anyone - wanted to lead them.

Months of plotting saw off one right-winger, only for a rushed coronation to usher in another. A man once scorned by his own party is now seen as its saviour.

All this has at least given the Tories something to smile about. But while Howard may be able to knock his ragged crew into shape, it is hard to see how his brand of right-wing Tory politics will appeal to the electorate.

We will have to wait and see if the old Tory bustard can get off the ground.

ALL the recent stories about law and order, in this paper and elsewhere, have raised concerns about modern life. One worrying spin-off from this is the way boys are being turned into demons.

The yobbish minority are tainting our lovely sons, raising the nasty suggestion that all teenage boys are troublemakers. Nothing could be further from the truth and we should remember this.

As Wendy Barker of Dringhouses wrote to his newspaper last month, most teenagers are "good, hardworking people and fine law-abiding citizens". Too true, Wendy.

Updated: 10:12 Thursday, November 06, 2003