Fighting back

WHEN Dave Asbury read, shortly after Frank Bruno had been taken into psychiatric care, about how the boxer had been sleeping in a boxing ring in his garden, he immediately understood.

"It was the only place he could feel safe," he says. "I can completely and utterly sympathise."

Dave understands the dark place Britain's favourite boxer has entered - because, a few years ago, he was there himself.

For years, the 30-year-old chef had been in the grip of clinical depression. It reached a head one day when he sat in his darkened living room, while the police hammered on the door and called for him to come out, as he tried to decide whether he should kill himself or not.

Thankfully, the police broke in before he could act on his suicidal thoughts. Today, his life has changed beyond all recognition. A year ago, his depression already well behind him, he linked up with the woman who is now his fiancee. And he's about to start his own business - something he's always dreamed of doing - running the catering franchise at a local golf club. "That's how far I've come," he says.

His message for Bruno, now battling his own demons in a psychiatric hospital in Essex, is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. "I feel really sorry for him," he says. "I know exactly what he's going through. But you can get better. You can come out of it and live your life again. There is hope."

Dave finds it difficult to describe just what clinical depression feels like. When people talk about feeling depressed, they generally mean they just feel down or low for a while, he says. But it's not the same thing at all.

He says clinical depression is "when you feel sad all the time and wake up every day and find there is nothing there to stimulate you and make you feel happy. Nothing to look forward to. It is like a black mood all the time. You're looking for something to lift you out of it, and there is nothing."

Susan Mitchell, a consultant psychiatrist at The Retreat hospital in York, says the way patients often describe clinical depression is in terms of a heavy burden weighing on them, a black cloud hanging over them.

Often there are physical symptoms too. "People often feel tired," she says. "They have lost interest in their usual activities, their concentration is impaired. Sometimes they lose their appetite, even their sleep is impaired."

The condition can affect every aspect of a patient's life, she says - their ability to cope with their job, even their relationship with loved ones. Low self-esteem is also common - with the patient often blaming themselves for their condition.

The important thing to remember, she says, is that depression is not the sufferer's fault - and they are not alone. It is a more common condition than many people believe - something like one in five of us will experience a degree of depression at some time in our lives, she says - and definitely not something to be ashamed of. "You don't suffer from depression because you are weak," she says. "Absolutely not. It is often a culmination of things. If somebody has experienced a number of adverse events in their life, bereavement, divorce or a major trauma or accident, that may lead to depression. Or if you're living alone, or you are unemployed, you may be more vulnerable to being depressed."

Dave's problems began in his teens, when he started suffering unexplained panic attacks. They left him shaky, frightened and short of breath. He would have to go off on his own somewhere and sit in a quiet corner to try to control his breathing - or, if they were really bad, go out and walk around until he calmed down.

Soon, he only felt comfortable in safe, familiar surroundings. "I didn't like going anywhere strange," he says.

By the time he turned 21, he was having a panic attack every day - which started him on a cycle of depression. He was put on anti-depressants and offered counselling. He was OK for a while - then started having terrible black moods, which left him feeling alone and isolated. He admits to having a minor breakdown, during which he couldn't face anyone and didn't have the mental strength to do anything. Diagnosed as clinically depressed, he was off work for more than three months. He recovered - but 18 months later, the black moods returned, leading to his near-suicide attempt.

The good news for sufferers of depression is that - as Dave's case illustrates - you can come out at the other end. Dr Mitchell says some people recover by themselves.

Talking to close friends and loved ones they know they can trust can help - as can regular exercise, and ensuring that you sleep well. Turning to alcohol, however, is entirely the wrong thing, she says, because in the long term it can make you more depressed. "People tend to use it because they feel it makes them better, but it can make things worse," she says.

One in five of people suffering from depression, however, will not recover on their own so it is vital they seek medical help, and as quickly as possible, says Dr Mitchell.

The problem is that often, sufferers will be in denial, says Dave, refusing to accept that anything is really wrong. "Once you have admitted it, that is the first step towards getting help and getting better," he says.

A GP should be the first point of call, says Dr Mitchell - they should be able to pick up on the signs and symptoms, and either treat or refer for treatment. Treatments can range from counselling, to cognitive behaviour therapy which gives the sufferer strategies for getting out of the moods of blackness and despair, to medication.

Dave's illness seems a long time ago, now - and he feels able to offer words of hope and comfort to Bruno.

The pressures on the boxer, he says, are ones ordinary people probably can't understand. "He's in the public eye all the time. And there's the additional pressure that he's gone from being a successful heavyweight champ to being in pantomime.

"But there is light at the end of the tunnel. He has to believe that himself, and once he starts to believe that he will get better very quickly."

The depth of public affection for the boxer will certainly help, Dave believes - but what Bruno really needs is to find a role for himself, a new goal now that he is no longer boxing.

"He needs to find something that will occupy him," Dave says. "Something he can work towards. Something such as training young boxers. If he could be a trainer, maybe the satisfaction of finding a young kid and training him to be a champion would fill his time."

- The Samaritans offers a confidential 24-hour helpline for anyone who is suicidal or despairing. Call 08457 909090.

There are a number of advice, information and support groups for people suffering from depression. They include the Depression Alliance, at www.depressionalliance.org; the Manic Depression Fellowship, information and advice line 08456 340540; and MIND, national information line 08457 660163.

- York And District MIND also runs a Carer's Counselling Service for people looking after someone suffering from depression. For more information, ring 01904 466690. The charity is also hoping to set up self-help groups for sufferers from depression: call 01904 647030 to find out more.

A black-tie charity ball is being held at the Merchant Adventurer's Hall, York, on Friday to raise money for the work the charity does. Tickets cost £40, which includes a three course meal and entertainment by York band Huge. For tickets call 01904 647014.

Updated: 08:51 Monday, September 29, 2003