After a fashion

FEW prospects can be as daunting as becoming a parent. The awareness that life will never be the same again is tied to a complete lack of comprehension of quite how different everything will be.

Then there are the smaller but important matters of how to care for a baby: that endless round of feeding, nappy-changing and getting them off to sleep. And that's to rush ahead of the labour - a scary prospect, for women and partners alike.

For the past 20 years, York mum-of-three Jane Allnutt has helped hundreds of couples prepare for this life-changing experience by running ante-natal classes for the National Childbirth Trust.

"The NCT is all about helping parents make informed choices about pregnancy and birth," says Jane, who reckons she has taught more than 500 couples in her time as an ante-natal tutor.

Besides informing couples about pregnancy, she also taught coping techniques for labour and exercises to help women recover afterwards.

Men, she says, are often more anxious than women. "Men would be so uptight," she recalls. "So I used to make a joke of it and get them to do pelvic floor exercises as well as. We'd get a bit of a giggle. I always find that if you introduce humour into a situation then you take the threat away from it."

Each NCT class holds about eight couples and runs over eight weeks followed by a reunion when everyone proudly shows off their new arrivals. So over the years, Jane has met hundreds of babies too. This was always the part of the job she liked best.

"You could see how much these people had grown. It is amazing how different people look pre and post baby. They may have been terribly anxious when they came to class, but when they come to the reunion they are holding the baby confidently, changing nappies with ease and talking about how they coped."

NCT classes also create a support network for new parents too, adds Jane, because many couples stay in touch after their babies have been born. "That can be very important," says Jane. "Especially if you are new to an area or have no family around. You can feel very isolated with a baby."

Not every class member has a happy ending to their pregnancy story. Jane felt particular empathy for couples who had problem pregnancies or who lost their baby. She had a miscarriage and lost a son at 33 weeks before she went on to have her three children Felix, 21, Polly, 19 and Benjamin, 14. She said: "When you lose a child you lose all your future memories. I've had to deal with people who have lost their babies and if you have experienced that yourself you do have some idea of how difficult it is to cope."

In the past 20 years Jane has witnesses major changes in how we treat pregnancy.

"In labour, it used to be routine for women to have episiotomy, public shaves, inductions and enemas, whether they needed them or not, which was dehumanising. Today, it's much more about only interfering where the need arises and making the whole process of pregnancy and birth more woman-centred."

At ante-natal classes, which are also run by the NHS, women today are encouraged to write a birth plan; a wish list for labour. Jane says these are a great step forward in putting women in control, but says women must always be prepared to be flexible.

"A birth plan cannot be set in stone. It's not the ten commandments of your labour; more of a document for you and your partner to discuss with the people caring for you.

"I always tell people that it is OK to change your mind and to keep an open mind. That way, if you have a less-than-perfect delivery, you're likely to get over it more quickly."

The nature of parenthood has changed too in the past two decades. "I've had couples come to my classes where the father was planning to give up work and look after the baby, or where each partner was going to go back only part time," says Jane.

A big change has been in the number of women returning to work soon after the baby has been born. "Sometimes it is through choice, but for some they needed to go back to work to pay the mortgage. I found it quite sad when I came across women who would rather take two or three years out to bring up their child, but that wasn't an option because of financial reasons."

Most of Jane's work with the NCT was done in the evening and complemented her day job, a part-time occupational therapist helping the elderly settle back into independent living after a spell in hospital.

She now works full time as an occupational therapist, which is why, reluctantly, she has given up her post with the NCT.

To mark her career as the longest-serving NCT tutor in York, a party is being held in Jane's honour this week - with an open invitation to all the couples and children in York who Jane has met over the years.

The party, hosted by the NCT, will be at the English Martyrs Church Hall, Dalton Terrace, Holgate, York, on Saturday from 1pm-4pm. For more details, contact Tracey Lucas on 01904 629928.

Jane is excited at the prospect of seeing all those old faces and meeting their children again.

She said: "I'm sure I'll remember many people. I loved my job. It was such a privilege to work with people at such a crucial time in their lives, knowing what a huge difference having children makes to you as a woman and to your relationship as well."

Updated: 16:54 Monday, September 22, 2003