DOOMED Geoff Hoon had the look of a haunted, hunted man as Parliament returned to business. But the self-defence secretary was not the only person left vulnerable.

MPs' wives should not sleep too easily in their beds, either. This week their spouses were given a quick and easy way to bump them off by a colleague - in the chamber of the Commons.

There is a little upheaval and planning involved. Those without a kettle may need to buy one and others could even have to go as far as moving house.

But once this is taken care of the deed can be completed in no time at all, according to a Glasgow MP with a frighteningly precise recipe for success.

To widespread astonishment, James "Jimmy" Wray told the Commons: "The easiest way to get rid of one's wife, if one wanted to do so, would be to go to a city with fluoridated water..."

He was trying to make a serious point about the danger of Government smoothing the passage for fluoride to be pumped into the household water supply.

But I won't be going into further details - it may not be wise. Further details about Mr Hoon's embattlement pose no such problem, however.

I - along with the population of North Yorkshire - have never forgiven his arrogant handling of the US request to use RAF Fylingdales for "son of Star Wars".

He ducked any debate until the last minute and, in the words of the Defence Select Committee, showed "no respect" for the views of local people.

For him, the end is now in sight. Mr Hoon's career suffered a fatal blow when he sought to distance himself from the "outing" of Dr David Kelly - only for his own special advisor, Richard Taylor, to tell the Hutton inquiry into the weapon's expert's apparent suicide he had been at a crucial strategy meeting after all.

But he is determined to cling on to the bitter end and this gave his many political enemies a week to remember.

His mauling by the Intelligence and Security Committee - MPs said it was "disturbing" that Mr Hoon did not disclose full details of concerns about the Government's Iraq weapons dossier among Defence Intelligence Staff - must have been painful enough.

But at least Mr Hoon was only watching the ISC announcing its findings on TV. At defence questions in the Commons, he had to sit through every agonising minute.

His Tory shadow Bernard Jenkin seized on his evasive "it wasn't me" appearance before Lord Hutton last month.

He asked why the reconstruction of Iraq was not going to plan: "Does he not recall attending any meetings about the reconstruction?" he mocked. "Is he still playing the part of 'Not me, Guv' Secretary of State?"

Even worse was to come when he tried to squeeze what should have been a 45-minute statement into the Iraq crisis into a single Q&A slot.

The Speaker showed remarkable patience as Mr Hoon went on and on, but eventually he snapped: "Order. The Minister is making a statement."

Tory Andrew Mackay, normally notable only for his (permanent) bright orange tan, said he had not seen anything like it in 20 years as an MP.

He was probably not exaggerating. And, if it does prove to be Mr Hoon's final appearance at the despatch box, it will be a fitting epitaph.

Updated: 10:52 Friday, September 12, 2003