Twos and threes

SARA Waddington uses a colour code to help tell apart her 22-month-old identical triplet sons. "Ross wears blue, Jake green and Joe yellow, or some other colour," says Sara, a remarkably calm and happy-looking 25 year old, who is filling me in on life with three toddlers while the boys take a mid-morning snooze.

I make a note of the colour codes in an attempt to help me identify the lads when they wake up for lunch. But it's hopeless. The boys are all in stripy dungarees and they are the spit of each other - with a mop of white blond hair, full cheeks and big blue eyes.

It is credit to Sara that during the two hours I spent at the family home in Everingham, near Pocklington, she did not complain once about her lot.

"I actually find it quite offensive when people stop me and say: 'triplets - what a nightmare'," says Sara. "I think I've only had two people say to me: 'aren't you lucky?'."

When she fell pregnant, Sara was hoping she would be having twins - and girls at that. The night before her 20-week scan, she dreamt she was having quads. So it was with a mix of disbelief and laughter, she says, that she and husband Carl greeted the news that they were having triplets - all boys.

One of the first things they did was go to a bookshop to buy a book on triplets. They couldn't find one, but a relative tracked down an American book called Multiple Blessings via the Internet, which was a wealth of sound and positive advice.

Sara said: "Many books I looked at on twins were all doom and gloom and seemed to just go on about all the problems. This book examined the problems but also made you aware that twins and triplets are really good fun as well."

Sara also joined Tamba - the Twins and Multiple Births Association - which this week is celebrating its 25th anniversary. It put Sara in touch with the York Parents Of Twins Club, for which she now produces a regular newsletter. The club puts families in contact with each other, hosts regular get-togethers and is a great way for parents to pass on baby equipment and clothes.

Sara and Carl's triplets were born at 33 weeks by caesarean: Jake at 4lbs 1oz, Ross 3lbs 11oz and Joe 4lbs 2oz. They stayed in the special care baby unit at York District Hospital for three weeks before being allowed home.

After a month of breastfeeding, Sara switched to bottles and had them sleeping through the night by ten weeks.

But it wasn't all plain sailing. The boys suffered from colic and at around three months spent a considerable number of weeks screaming non-stop from 6pm to midnight.

The triplets all hit their milestones at the same time: crawling, first teeth, walking - and now the next challenge is potty training.

When the boys were one, Sara went back to work part time for the Inland Revenue in York, and for two days a week the triplets are looked after by her parents Joyce and Joe, of Bubwith.

Sara says the drawback of having more than one baby at the same time is that it is difficult to give individual attention to each child. Also, it is problematic and expensive to do activities such as swimming or go to music and play groups. The bank balance also takes a hammering in having to buy three of everything and pay the grocery bill. "We get through 12 pints of milk in two days - and tons of bread and veg," she says.

But Sara wouldn't have it any other way. "I think it would be much harder to have a baby, a toddler and a child at school."

And just in case you wondered, she would still like more children. "A girl next time," she says with a smile.

Another member of the York twins club is Gail Cox, mum to 22-month-old twin girls Maisie and Isobel.

Like Sara, Gail is only too happy to have had more than one baby at the same time. She and husband Robbie had difficulty conceiving and resorted to IVF in order to get pregnant. The procedure increased the risk of having a multiple pregnancy, but the Coxes, of Holgate, York, didn't mind.

"Twins were our dream," says Gail with a big smile. "We were really pleased when we had a scan at ten weeks and they told us there were two of them."

Gail is petite and the pregnancy took its toll on her body. "I had back pain - and I still have problems now. I found I could not sit after about six months."

Her babies were born at 38 and a half weeks by caesarean - Maisie weighed 5lbs 12oz and Isobel was 5lbs 4oz. The girls are not identical, but there is no mistaking them for twins with their similar frames and blonde hair.

Gail admits the prospect of leaving hospital with twins was daunting and looking back, she probably should have asked for more help from her family.

"My mum and dad live about 20 miles away in Bubwith and would be there whenever I needed them, but I was very independent and tried to do it by myself. I'm quite an organised person and wanted to get into a routine."

Gail says she survived the rollercoaster of the first few weeks on sheer adrenaline. The babies would wake up every couple of hours in the night and with each taking around 30 minutes at a time to have their bottle, it meant Gail would get about an hour's sleep before getting up for another round of night feeds.

By six months, they had dropped their night feeds but were still waking regularly until Gail used the technique of 'controlled crying' whereby she would check on the babies at regular intervals, but not pick them up or soothe them.

"It worked because they knew I was there but I wasn't going to play with them and they learned to go back to sleep," she says. It was a technique Sara used with success too.

The twins will be two on August 9, and Gail says life was a lot easier as they became toddlers and gained a bit of independence. "It was great when I could take one out of the car and she would stand still while I got the other one. And it was fantastic after a year when I could stop sterilising bottles and making up feeds," she recalls.

Joining Tamba and a twins club is something she thoroughly recommends to anyone expecting twins or triplets - or more.

"Most books on child care are geared towards the single child," says Gail. "Obviously it's quite different when you have twins or triplets."

Contact Tamba on 0870 7703305 or visit www.tamba.org.uk

To join York Parents Of Twins Club, telephone 01904 738380 or 01757 289703.

Updated: 10:00 Tuesday, July 01, 2003