HOW I came to miss lunch is another story! But that is why we arrived at the Wolds Village, Ann looking for a light bite and me in search of something more substantial.

The 'village' complex is family run and includes a gift shop, craft workshops and caf/restaurant. All are set around a courtyard housing tables and chairs.

We chose to sit inside. It appeared that customers having lunch (and they were still arriving at 4pm) sat at conventional tables while those partaking of tea had the settees and low chairs.

A quick decision and Ann would have the Yorkshire cream tea (£3.50) and I would go for the high tea (£5.95).

Alternatives were the usual lunch dishes but they were outside our price bracket. However soup (£2.50), toasted sandwiches (£3.95), baguettes (£4.95) were readily available.

We spotted the largest toasted teacakes we have seen (£1.20) and people eating Yorkshire puddings the size of a fez which would have done Tommy Cooper proud!

Our order arrived and it was certainly not for the faint hearted.

The cream tea consisted of two of the largest scones imaginable with liberal portions of jam and cream. Ann was quite sure she could have produced at least three scones out of the one she was able to eat.

As for the high tea? The double decker cake plate contained four sandwiches filled with bacon, cream cheese and pineapple (my choice) and garnish. Also one scone, flap jack, coffee sponge, chocolate tray bake and shortbread.

By the time I had eaten the sandwiches I was beginning to regret my selection. They were delicious but filling. The flapjack was very thick, rather solid but strongly flavoured with treacle. Moving on to the sponge cake and sharing the shortbread I had to call it a day.

The teapot and hot water provided us with three cups each. Most welcome in view of the volume of food.

Keeping an eye on fellow snackers we spotted one couple sharing an afternoon tea and others being very modest in their order. Obviously they had visited before and knew the score.

The gift shop might be better described as an Aladdin's cave. It took more than half an hour to browse around the incredible assortment of unusual items.

So if you visit, go with an empty stomach or be modest in your order and share.

Updated: 08:35 Saturday, May 24, 2003