IT'S not often estate agents flag up a building as a potential safety risk. But this is the case with a run-down property in Appleton-le-Street, near Malton.

And prospective buyers have been flocking to snap up the building, which has been empty for nigh on 20 years and is in a sad, sorry state, inside and out.

Initially, the building, which comprises two old cottages with five rooms, was offered at £70,000. But Dee, of Boulton & Cooper, says interest has been so great that best-and-final bids will have to be in by 5.30pm on May 8 if you want to splash the cash on what she says is a place in such a "terrible condition you can only go part way up the stairs".

In fact, Dee has been so rushed off her feet by the volume of inquiries that she has even started to "dream about it in bed!" She told me: "It needs a complete rebuild, the house not the bed but that hasn't deterred potential buyers one jot," she told me.

You can't even see the front door for overgrown shrubs Pass the Black & Decker, mother, I feel a big job coming on.

IT was a lovely day on Wednesday, so Barbara Stickney, landlady of The Phoenix in George Street, York, drove her husband, Barry, and their four-year-old grandson, Matthew, out to see the animals at Monk Park Farm, Bagby, three miles south east of Thirsk.

The little boy was captivated by the wallabies, ostriches, deer, donkeys, goats, guinea pigs and rabbits. But his curiosity went into overdrive when he spotted a Longhorn cow lying down looking at nothing in particular.

The seven-year-old beast looked magnificent, then Matthew went and spoiled the moment when he pointed to the languid bovine and asked Barbara: "Nana, is that as big as you?"

Husband Barry had a fit of the blurts as Matthew fixed them both with his wide-eyed "what-have-I-said?" look.

SO, what's up doc? Word reaches me that a high-profile anti-war-campaigner who is also against the Euro and Coppergate, is looking for me.

He knows where to find me. Either here at the Evening Press, a building to which he is no stranger, or the taproom of The Waggon And Horses, in Lawrence Street.

At your service, "doc".

Where can you get hold of a decent plumber when you need one? Wayne Brannan, of York, managed to track down his tradesman, Nigel Bone, in the Himalayas.

Wayne, 44, was upwardly-mobile on a three-week mission to Mount Everest base camp when who should come round the next S-bend, but the man who revamped his bathroom.

Wayne, of Clifton Moor, said he was plumb flabbergasted.

"It was a rare sighting. You are more likely to spot a yeti than track down a plumber nowadays."

A DAY after flying in from Delhi, Evening Press journo Richard Johns had a day off to go through the mountain of credit and store card bills which had piled up on his doormat.

Realising he had to pay one straight away, he phoned the call centre to rush through his payment.

After sorting out his financial problems, he was curious to the accent of the woman on the other end of the line.

"I'm in India," she said. "Your calls are diverted to our centre here on the outskirts of Delhi."

Richard replied: "If I had known that I could have popped in and paid you yesterday."

Hard rockin' wildmen Stealer of York have played some tough gigs in their time, but how many times have they ended up in stitches after them?

Well they certainly did recently, three of them in stitches of laughter, but one of them didn't see the funny side...

They regularly play at The Melbourne in York, including helping to run the jam nights, but did anybody notice lead guitarist Nick limping after they played at the Crimea Tavern in Castleford?

A little bird has told me the "tail" behind the injury he received while packing the band's gear into the van after the gig.

The pub's guard dog, believed by an eyewitness to be a hugely ferocious... er... Staffordshire, was champing at the bit ready for his evening constitutional.

Nick brushed too close to the beast so it sank its gnashers into his ankles, being too small to reach any more tender parts - and, as the rest of the band fell about laughing, Nick was fighting back the tears of pain.

The lads eventually picked themselves up off the floor to take Nick for stitches, which involved a three-hour wait in casualty and a tetanus shot... for the dog!

Updated: 12:13 Saturday, April 26, 2003