WE all love our kids. Or at least most of us do, most of the time. But sometimes it is difficult to like them.

When they are lying on the floor in the middle of Fenwicks screaming because you won't let them kick the glass counters with their new football boots; when they are throwing their porridge across the dining table because it is too lumpy or not lumpy enough; or when they are banging their head - or the head of their nearest and dearest sibling - on the floor because Angel Mouse has finished and it's time to turn off the TV, you may still love them, but you wouldn't necessarily be able to hold your hand up to liking them a heck of a lot.

Children - particularly those between the ages of about two and four - all have moments of madness. My own four year old, for example, recently screamed and shouted so violently because we couldn't drop everything and zoom off to Lotherton Hall bird garden (which was shut anyway) that he threw up all over the sofa.

If I had diligently followed a new directive from the NSPCC, my reaction would have been quiet, firm and understanding. In reality, however, instead of muttering "cheers son - scraping fish fingers and beans off my soft furnishings is what I live for" and quietly questioning his motives, I shouted at him and bounced him up to his bedroom while I sorted out the stinking mess that was once my sofa.

I don't make a habit of yelling at my son, but sometimes it is the only thing that snaps him out of one of his - thankfully now rare - frenzied tantrums. I don't believe it is abusive, I don't believe it does any damage and, until a few days ago, I believed most other right-minded individuals agreed with me.

But it seems I was wrong. According to the NSPCC, shouting is the new no-no. Its latest survey shows that four in ten parents occasionally have feelings of anger towards their toddlers (I can only assume the other six have had a lobotomy) and that, while 51 per cent agreed it was never okay to smack their child, 87 per cent said they had reacted in such situations by shouting.

If the NSPCC had asked me to take part in its survey, I wouldn't have skewed the outcome at all. I don't smack my son, but I have shouted at him. That, however, is where our agreement ends. While the society lumps shouting in with smacking, saying both are negative and ultimately unsuccessful reactions, I believe the short, sharp shock of a raised voice is sometimes the only way to stop a situation getting out of hand.

The NSPCC says "understood toddlers are safer toddlers". Fair enough, but what about those occasions when their behaviour goes beyond all understanding; when, in all fairness, they go a bit bonkers?

Positive discipline, in terms of rewarding good behaviour and setting a good example yourself, is all very well, but when you have spent the morning with a toddler behaving like a rabid Tasmanian devil, it just doesn't do the trick. This is a long-term solution when what you need is a quick fix to get you through the next five minutes.

But I'm sure the NSPCC knows that already. In fact, I'm pretty sure this survey and its preachy, unhelpful results are just a way of keeping its members busy in between caring for children who are really being abused.

I just hope the society is as good at taking advice as it is at dishing it out. Far be it from me to tell its members how to do their job, but next time they want to get across the message that shouting is bad, maybe they should consider not allowing one of their spokeswomen to get into a verbal brawl with a dissenter on Radio 4.

Listening to her yodel loudly about the dangers of shouting was amusing, but it didn't necessarily sell the point successfully to the nation.

Updated: 09:02 Tuesday, April 08, 2003