In the second of two articles marking an exhibition about drug abuse in York, CHARLOTTE PERCIVAL meets a man using art to help beat addiction
PICTURE the scene - a luscious expanse of bright red opium poppies, sparkling in the sunlight on a bright summer's day.
"It's hard to be believe something as evil and destructive as heroin originates from something so beautiful", says 32-year-old heroin addict Simon McKenzie.
"And those flowers are beautiful - really, really beautiful."
He is talking about the centrepiece painting that stands beside two others at the Lost Time exhibition, at City Screen this month.
Simon has been crafting oil-based paintings with a palate knife in his room at York Arclight Centre, trying to face and overcome his problems through becoming a serious and established artist.
He says years of abusing heroin have dried up his creative flow. Now he is fighting to beat the addiction, carve himself a career as an artist and help others understand the real person beneath the heroin addict.
Simon endured an unhappy childhood. He suffered sexual abuse until he was 11, then when he was 13 he discovered the person he had called dad all his life was no blood relation.
"It was a huge shock but a lot of things made sense when I found that out", he said.
To block out his problems, he turned to recreational drugs. "I wouldn't say my teens were drug-free, but I wasn't using Class A. Then I went to prison for four years on a robbery charge and I came out a full-blown addict."
Before being sent to prison, Simon had lived and breathed in a world of art, drama and design.
He studied art at Selby College, Harrogate College, appeared in a play at York Theatre Royal, auditioned for the National Youth Theatre, and was a partner in a successful design company.
A Leeds-based design company offered him his big break - but let him go after his drug use escalated.
He said: "My drug abuse was a reaction to the problems I couldn't face - it all went wrong."
To fully appreciate his work, Simon believes people must understand the rudiments of how he lives - of life with heroin.
Relationships with friends and family have deteriorated: "My mum tries to understand - but it's hard. My mum's the person I love; the only person I know who is connected to me, but people think I'm selfish.
"Heroin is a selfish drug. You become a brilliant liar, you lie to everyone, including yourself. All that matters when you wake up in a morning is getting £10 together for a bag.
"I've always known that what I was doing was wrong, but done it anyway. Heroin freezes your life. Disables all your emotions. You forget all the pain. For half a day your problems don't exist."
Then there are the health risks. Simon has suffered two blood clots in his leg, for which he needed hospital treatment. He has been offered an intensive detox programme through the drugs treatment charity, Compass. This will involve immense hard work on his part, but will, hopefully, completely wean him off heroin and allow him to be relocated elsewhere.
He is excited about the treatment. "I so desperately want to be clean. My life's been frozen, but inside I still feel 22. Heroin takes the love out of you - that's why people perceive you as selfish. I want to get back some of that lost time."
Simon is showcasing his work alongside poetry, photographs and information at the Lost Time exhibition in City Screen's basement. It ties in with York filmmaker Kevin Curran's documentary, Stranded: On Cloud 9 about three York heroin addicts, to be screened next month.
Simon hopes people will see the irony behind his poppy field painting. He says: "I want people to see the beauty in those flowers. Heroin looks horrible in the syringe, but before it got there it was really beautiful. I want to confront my issues through my art and be taken seriously - to be a serious artist."
To commission Simon or exhibit his work, contact Arclight on 01904 630500.
Updated: 10:36 Wednesday, April 09, 2003
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