YORKSHIRE'S MPs left Westminster this week for the long summer recess. But, as they were clearing their desks and heading north, one of their number was only just returning to the Commons. David "square peg" Davis.

When the York-born MP opted for an early vacation in Florida a couple of weeks ago, he was Tory party chairman and a rising star.

He returns a demoted man - consigned to spending his days trying to decipher and then outwit Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott over the Despatch Box.

To make matters worse, he doesn't even get a nice title to help him through the horrors of debating regional government and council spending plans with Prezza.

The Tories already have a deputy leader - Shadow Foreign Secretary Michael Ancram - so he becomes the cumbersome "shadow secretary of state for the office of the deputy prime minister."

The explanation for his perceived fall from grace differs, depending on whom you choose to gossip with.

The official line is that it is not a demotion, but a long-term plan by Iain Duncan Smith to put "round pegs in round holes".

Mr Davis - who withdrew from last year's Tory leadership battle after round one to support IDS - will be better suited to taking on the "vulnerable" Mr Prescott.

The best woman for the job of chairman is former transport spokesman Theresa May.

However, Mr Davis's enemies paint a different picture of a man waiting in the wings to seize the party leadership - hence his knifing by Mr Duncan Smith while on holiday.

The Haltemprice and Howden MP, who was brought up by his mother in Walmgate, York, also faced allegations of being less than active, with his mid-term holiday supposedly raising a few eyebrows at Central Office.

Whatever the truth, Mr Davis's loss was the Government's gain.

After a tough spring - sleaze, Black Rod, Stephen Byers and trouble with the unions, to name but a few - Labour was out of the spotlight and able to concentrate on the topic of Europe.

The Government is very keen to explain that the European Union will soon be growing in size, with at least ten new central and southern European countries signing up in 2004. But it is such a mind-numbingly dull topic that no one wants to listen. So they set about livening it up (or dumbing it down, depending on your viewpoint.)

They did this by organising a football tournament - to be televised live by Sky - between ageing footballers from existing EU countries and those which will soon be joining them.

Europe Minister Peter Hain was enlisted to plug the event, featuring Bryan Robson, Glenn Hoddle and Ian Rush. And what a job he did, issuing a press release headed: "They think it's enlarging - it is now".

It was Mr Hain's comments which clinched it, however. "We need to end the Europe of two halves," he said.

"I want to see central Europe coming home to the European family. In just 18 months' time it will. The unification of Europe will be an historic moment. People need to be on the ball as to the implications. After 60 years of hurt, Europe will finally sign up to stability, security, peace and prosperity. An expanded EU will boost Britain's national income by £1.75bn and create over 300,000 extra jobs across the EU."

Years of hurt? Europe of two halves? On the ball? Either Mr Hain has appointed Baddiel and Skinner as spin doctors, or he needs a holiday. Now is a good time to take one.

Parliament is now in recess. James Slack returns for the Liberal Democrat Party Conference on September 27.

Updated: 10:56 Friday, July 26, 2002