WE are pleased Jamie Bucknell's family and Strensall Parish Council have reached agreement over the design of Jamie's headstone.

Keith and Debbie Bucknell have struggled through a waking nightmare since their much-loved son died suddenly in November. The last thing they needed was a dispute over his final resting place.

When the parish council rejected their plan for his headstone, not once but twice, they were "both heartbroken and furious".

Their distress is entirely understandable. Jamie's family, girlfriend and friends wanted to mark his grave with something deeply personal.

At the same time, we sympathise with the parish council. Regulating the appearance of a public burial ground is among the most difficult and thankless tasks in local government.

Parish councillors must consider the wishes and sensitivities of all the users of the graveyard. They are asked to take the broader, long term view of what is appropriate.

If there were no rules, there is the danger that a deeply spiritual place could become disfigured by tacky monuments - or worse. Last month a computer games firm said it wanted to advertise its latest title on gravestones.

Strensall councillors have met the Bucknells, explained their position and apologised for any distress it caused. The compromise, involving minor changes to the original design, is a fair and honourable outcome.

The story has raised larger questions over the governance of headstones. Julie Barnie, the mother of Jamie's girlfriend Helen, has called for a general policy on headstone design.

While it is right that the ultimate decision is taken locally by those who know each burial ground, the myriad of regulations, set by the church, councils and cemetery authorities, is confusing. National guidelines may help prevent future distress to those recently bereaved.

As for Jamie's family, they are relieved to finally be able to put up the headstone they wanted. This is not his only memorial: the 12 heart monitors bought through the Jamie Have A Heart Appeal are another lasting legacy of this special young man.

Updated: 11:03 Thursday, April 25, 2002