HAVING worked for a parish and a town council which administered local cemeteries, I can understand that dealing with cemetery related matters can, on occasion, be difficult and soul searching ('Cemetery ban on Jamie's headstone', April 17).

It may be interesting, however, to ask if the parish council concerned has a set of rules and regulations relating to headstones.

Both my former employers were satisfied that, provided the headstone did not exceed a specified size, the content of the wording and engraving was the choice of the bereaved.

I have seen many interesting and personal items on headstones - a picture of a young child, a dartboard, a train and, romantically, a gentleman who had a verse of heart-stopping Robert Burns on his wife's headstone.

Putting a headstone on a loved one's grave is, to many people, part of the necessary and important process of grieving.

Additionally, descendants of people buried in cemeteries, some coming from the other side of the world, are often very moved on being able locate the grave of an ancestor.

Imagine the added joy of finding a headstone that tells a little about the person who rests there.

Maureen Metcalf,

Garth Lane,

Hambleton, Selby.

Updated: 09:25 Saturday, April 20, 2002