ON Monday, Prince Charles said British newspapers have been "awkward, cantankerous, cynical, bloody-minded, at times intrusive, at times inaccurate, and at times deeply unfair and harmful to individuals and institutions".

To which this deeply responsible and thoughtful column responds: "Do you want some, Big Ears?"

Okay, okay he might have a point. After all, I have just lifted one small quote entirely out of context from his lengthy and considered speech in Fleet Street.

And journalists are a naturally sceptical lot, inclined to dwell on the negative, always prepared to believe the worst in somebody, energised by disaster, defeat and tragedy. A fine way to make a living it is too.

But perhaps we are too willing to linger under the rain clouds. As the prince said, the work of dedicated public sector staff (naming no royals) is undermined by the media's relentless battering of Britain's best-loved institutions (naming no monarchies).

Charles's comments sent me into a long and painful period of intro-spection, in which I questioned my very motivations as a journalist. And when I finished that pint, my course of action had become obvious.

If our next king wishes his scribbling subjects to accentuate the positive, who am I to disobey?

So this week, I rinsed my sore, cynical eyes in rose-tinted Optrex before casting them over the news agenda. And do you know what? Every story is a good news story if you approach it like a bunny on happy drugs.

Take President George Bush's plans. He wants to nuke Saddam and take over the world in the twisted name of freedom.

At first, this sounds a little depressing.

But think of the up-side. What is World War III if not a huge job creation scheme? Unemployment would be wiped out at a stroke - admittedly along with most of the Western world, but hey, stop quibbling.

Still abroad, isn't it wonderful that the Zimbabweans enjoy such firm and steadfast leadership? Robert Mugabe has been in power for years, and yet still his people queued up to vote him in again. No wonder the rest of the world treats this world statesman with such respect.

At home, there's been a lot of mith-ering about the state of our railways lately. But how boring life would be if the trains stuck rigidly to a timetable.

Delays and cancellations give passengers the chance to meet new people, join together in a gleeful lynch mob and descend on the station master's office baying like banshees. Which other country's rail service offers the same?

Prince Charles was too modest to mention it, but we must not forget the royal family themselves, a ceaseless source of uplifting news. Who could fail to be delighted to hear that Prince Edward and Sophie have shut up shop? Who could not be cheered to learn that Prince Andrew is riding the roller-coaster of love with the Ripon daughter of a former theme park owner? Keep up the good work, guys...

WHERE'S the cone hotline when you need it? On a recent round trip to Norton I was held up by no fewer than eight sets of road-works. As I write this, I am serenaded by the sound of pneumatic drill on Tarmac as Walmgate, Fossgate and every other York street are dug up.

I know highways departments are in a rush to spend the last of their budgets before the end of the financial year. But surely someone can plan ahead a little better than this.

Still, it is good news for, er... the makers of fluorescent jackets. Satisfied, your royal highness?

Updated: 10:35 Wednesday, March 13, 2002