A firefighter whose 26-year-old wife died in a freak road accident said today his life had been torn apart.

Jim Winder, whose miraculous recovery has amazed doctors, was at the wheel of his Ford Mondeo on the A1 when it collided with a stray horse.

His wife of less than two years was killed instantly and it was "touch and go" for a while whether he would pull through.

Surgeons said later that it was only the leading firefighter's supreme fitness that had saved him after he suffered a broken neck and several brain haemorrhages.

Mr Winder, who was 28 last Sunday, is now recovering at his home, in D'Arcy Road, Selby, still trying to come to terms with the loss of his soul mate.

Steel plates have been inserted at the front and back of his neck and bone was taken from his hip to replace a crushed vertebrae.

Fighting back tears, Mr Winder said he and Helen were childhood sweethearts and had been going out together for 13 years before marrying 20 months ago.

He said: "We planned to move to a bigger house, once Helen had got her master's degree, and start a family. We had so many plans for the future and now they're in tatters.

"Nearly every plan and dream had Helen's name on it. We had a sackful of them and on January 1 someone just tipped them all on the floor."

The million-to-one accident happened on New Year's Day as the happy couple drove home with their two dogs from a friend's house. Mr Winder, who stuck to blackcurrant and lemonade on New Year's Eve, knowing he was working the following day, has no recollection of the horror smash.

The former rugby player and kick-boxer is still on powerful painkillers and sleeping tablets.

He said: "I know I'm lucky to be alive, but whether I ever get over Helen's death I just don't know.

"We were kindred spirits - we loved taking our caravan and walking in the Lake District and Scotland.

"She was a special, caring person who wanted to become a social worker so she could help victims of child abuse.

"I'm very bitter with the cards I've been dealt. It's like being at the bottom of a black hole, but I'm determined to come through this and pick up the pieces because that's what Helen would have wanted."

Updated: 11:27 Friday, February 01, 2002