NO outbursts over spots breaking out on the night of a party, no embarrassing discoveries of girlie magazines under the bed, no cries of "I hate you".

Parents had a much easier time of it 1.5 million years ago. Or so scientists say, who have discovered that early humans reached adulthood far more quickly than their modern descendants.

Whereas nowadays humans take up to 20 years to develop, the early human homo erectus (our forebear) grew up more like the great apes which reach adulthood in 11 or 12 years.

So, no awkward adolescents like Harry Enfield's Kevin, no teenage angst, unrequited crushes or similar problems that plague parents.

Sounds great, but to be honest, given the choice, I think I'd rather deal with the stroppy teenager - particularly if the subject is male.

From the evidence gathered in my study, it's obvious which one is easier to live with.

Toilet habits

Teenage male: Spends hours in the bathroom examining bodily changes.

Uses own spot creams and other adolescent male grooming products. Shows signs of embarrassment when asked to hurry up and exits hastily, leaving the room more or less as he found it.

Adult male: Spends days in the bathroom showering while applying various gels and mousses to the body. Regularly pinches his other half's grooming products.

Exhibits irritation when asked to get a move on and does not come out for another two hours, leaving the room looking like a Chinese laundry.

Personal hygiene

Teenage male: Strives to smell nice, ever-conscious that body odour or halitosis could dampen attempts at courtship.

Experiments with virtually every product in Boots. And, contrary to popular belief (and according to friends with teenage sons) unless youth hostelling, rarely wears the same pair of socks or boxers for more than two days in a row.

On the down side, leaves horrible sweaty trainers in the hall.

Adult male: Would never admit to smelling like last week's dirty laundry, but frequently does.

Regularly wears the same socks, boxers and shirt. And, take note, HIS trainers - left in the same place - are bigger.

Tantrums

Teenage male: Makes it obvious when having one and is not a pretty sight. But at least you know when you have done something to offend.

Adult male: Stomps about slamming doors for a couple of days but never tells you why.

Those on the receiving end are driven to ask: "Is it me, is it work, is it your mother?"

Sex

Teenage male: Thinks and talks about it a lot but never actually does it.

Adult male: Thinks about it a lot and does it whenever he gets the chance.

I rest my case.