The word 'winter' was used in a weather bulletin last week - the first mention of the word this year. Alongside a prediction of snow on northern hills, the forecaster voiced his surprise at having to use it.

And it's understandable. I bought a jumper for my daughter at the weekend. Thick and woolly, perfect for the time of year, I thought. But as I walked home, I had a re-think and almost took it back.

There I was, just two weeks before Christmas, out shopping in no more than a light jacket, trousers and a pair of pumps. No warm coat, gloves, scarf or hat, no thick socks or long, fur-lined boots - none of the usual trappings of the season.

Those things have been on stand-by in my wardrobe since October, but it doesn't look like they'll get used.

In the kitchen cupboard I've got enough de-icer to shift the South Pole, and you can't get into the shed for sacks of coal. But, again, these winter stockpiles look like being of as much use as a snow shovel in August.

Up to now I've been sceptical of global warning, of the prospect of olive groves growing on the banks of the Ouse and of year-round pavement cafes in Parliament Street. But it's fast becoming a reality. And, far from being a pleasure, it's a pain.

I hate having to scrape ice off the car windscreen every morning, and I don't like having to worry about central heating bills. But they're just a couple of cold weather inconveniences that you expect to suffer and can prepare for in advance.

Just imagine what it will be like when it's warm all year round.

Already, people are complaining that their lawn needs mowing every week and plants that usually die off are flourishing. But what will this time of year be like when the temperatures resemble those of July?

We'll have permanent traffic jams on roads - Christmas shoppers will vie for road space with families driving to the coast, there will be flies and wasps buzzing around the turkey (which, of course, will be eaten outside on the decking) and Christmas services will abandon In The Bleak Midwinter in favour of In The Summertime.

As the temperature climbs, we may even come to abandon traditional Christmas fare in favour of salads and avocado dips. Even Christmas cards could change, with images of Santa and his helpers in shorts and vest tops. And on the shopping front, there won't be such a thing as an autumn/winter catalogue.

One of the reasons that Australia holds no appeal for me is the revolting idea of Christmas dinner on the beach. But in a decade's time that could be us Brits - lounging about on Scarborough's beaches, pulling crackers and wearing festive hats.

Christmas decorations look so sad in warm climates. Scraps of tinsel wound around the barbecue - it just doesn't fire the same emotions.

Winter is about frost, if we're lucky snow, (I was going to say icicles but when did you last see one? As a child our bathroom window was home to some fantastic specimens) multiple layers of clothing and Big Soup.

Not tending citrus fruits in the back garden and swatting flies.

But if the weather forecast is to be believed, there could be a grain of hope. I reckon I'll take my mince pies and crackers and head for the hills.

As the temperature climbs, we may even come to abandon traditional Christmas fare in favour of salads and avocado dips