Q I met my girlfriend at university several years ago. We moved in together after we both graduated. I started a full-time job and my girlfriend also had a small part-time job.

Three months ago my girlfriend began a more demanding job with a lot of new responsibilities. Now all she seems to be focused on is her new job. We never spend time together and our relationship has definitely changed. I feel left out of her new life.

I thought that in a couple of years we would settle down, get married and start a family. Now I am afraid to even broach the subject. What should I do?

A You sound unhappy and unsure about the direction your relationship is taking. Broaching the subject with your girlfriend is the way forward to understanding what has changed for both of you, even though this may seem a difficult thing to do at this time.

Three months is not long in a new demanding job and perhaps it's more a question of how you and your girlfriend are handling these changes. Does she realise how left out you feel? Perhaps by sharing your fears with her you could explore what the real issues are and work towards creating a balance of work and play that is right for both of you.

With good communication and organisation there is nothing to stop you both combining marriage, family and career. It's a matter of personal preference and what's right for you as a couple. Ask your girlfriend how she sees the future. Let her know how you have been feeling over the past few months. Discuss how she could switch off from work when she gets home; ask what her needs are now that her working life has shifted.

Her answer may surprise you!