Facing the fear

JANE had always been the type of person who was in control. A trained nurse, she had held down responsible jobs all her life, and had travelled widely in the US and Canada. But her confidence was shattered when, a few years ago, she fell ill. She was diagnosed with jaundice and liver cancer - a condition which required intensive hospital treatment.

That was devastating enough for her, her disabled husband and their three daughters. But she was utterly unprepared for what happened next.

When she returned home Jane (not her real name) suddenly found she was terrified of going outside.

Every time she tried to venture out of doors, she would be overwhelmed with panic.

"My legs would be trembling, I'd have palpitations, I couldn't take in air to breathe, I'd feel I was going to faint or pass out," she says. "I was literally a nervous wreck."

She was particularly frightened of getting stuck in shop queues. "If there was a queue I would have to go back about ten times," she says. "I just felt that I wasn't safe, that I had to get back to the house. I really didn't know what was happening to me. I'd always been fully in control of my life."

Jane, from Heworth, is convinced it was the shock of her illness which brought on her phobia - a strange mixture of claustrophobia, agoraphobia, and social phobia. Whatever it was that caused it, she was too ashamed to tell her family. "They thought it was because of my physical illness that I wouldn't go out," she says. "I couldn't ever tell them because I didn't want them to think I was a wimp."

Jane is one of thousands in this country who suffer from a phobia or obsessive compulsive disorder. Charity Triumph Over Phobia, which runs a network of self-help groups, including one in York, believes up to one in ten people will suffer some kind of anxiety disorder in their lifetime.

Some people may be terrified of spiders, dogs or insects. Others may have a fear of flying or of heights or, like Jane, become virtual prisoners in their homes because they are terrified of going out.

For others it may be a 'social phobia' - they may find it impossible to eat or drink in front of other people, or even to make everyday conversation.

For those with an obsessive compulsive disorder, the anxiety takes the form of obsessive behaviour - constant scrubbing of the hands, or repeated checking, so the sufferer has to go back a dozen times to make sure the gas is turned off or the door locked.

People from all walks of life are affected by phobias. Comedian Phill Jupitus has a fear of spiders; footballer Dennis Bergkamp is afraid to fly; and TV presenter Kevin McCloud had a fear of heights.

Many phobics, like Jane, try to conceal their problem, according to Triumph Over Phobia. They pretend they'd rather walk because they cannot stand being shut in a bus - or say they're too busy when invited to the pub when really they can't face the ordeal of a drink with workmates.

What they all have in common is that the phobia or disorder can come to dominate their lives. In the worst cases, sufferers can shut themselves away indoors, shunning all social contact.

Christine Greensmith knows all about how destructive a phobia can be. The 44-year-old customer services worker, from Rawcliffe, has suffered for as long as she can remember from emetaphobia - a fear of vomiting.

Nobody likes being sick: but for Christine, fear of sickness took over her whole life. The mere thought of being sick would send her into an instant panic. "It was a constant fear, 24 hours a day," she says. "And I'd avoid any situation where it could possibly happen." She wouldn't eat because she was frightened it would make her sick. She wouldn't drink alcohol, because she was frightened of getting drunk and vomiting. She wouldn't fly, because she was worried about air sickness. She was even terrified of getting pregnant because of fear of morning sickness: and when she did have baby son Luke 12 years ago, was constantly frightened about him being sick on her. "I couldn't be near him for a long time," she admits.

Luckily, as he got older, Luke understood. He had a friend who was terrified of dogs, and Christine was able to explain she was just like him. But eventually her condition got so bad she knew she had to do something.

She spent three months at a behaviour unit in Kent undergoing an intensive programme of behaviour therapy devised by Triumph Over Phobia. Step by step, she was helped to confront her fears. She was introduced to foods she'd long given up eating; encouraged to watch videos of people being sick - even asked to write stories and articles about being sick. "Before that I couldn't even write the word or read the word without panicking."

It was hard: but it worked. Christine doesn't claim to be completely cured - but she has learned to take control of her life. "If I was to be sick, or somebody else was, I would probably panic," she admits. "But on a day to day basis, I'm a lot better."

Christine, now leader of the York Triumph Over Phobia self help group, is proof you can beat the condition. And she's not the only one.

After reading about the group, Jane plucked up courage to go along to one of the regular Tuesday evening meetings. She found immediate comfort from being able to talk to people who understood what she was going through and, step by step, with the group's help, she was able to master her fear of going out by confronting it.

Each week she was set a task - to go outside; to walk a few steps further each time; eventually to go to the Post Office, then walk in the local park. She was asked to keep a diary of her progress each week, rating her feelings of anxiety on a scale of zero (calm) to eight (panic).

It wasn't easy - but she was never forced to do something she wasn't ready for. And gradually, by facing it, she was able to bring her fear under control.

She, too, wouldn't say she's cured: but last year she was able to go on holiday to Germany, something she thought she'd never be able to do again. "I've got my life back," she says. And what could be more important than that?

- To find out more about Triumph Over Phobia call Christine, in confidence, on 01904 610202.