SO much conspires against the train traveller's rest. The tinny drumbeat leaking from the headphones of the heavy metal enthusiast. The electronic chirruping of the Game Boy. And, most irritating of all, the moronic massed chorus of "I'm on the train!" yelled into two dozen mobile phones.

We therefore predict heavy demand for GNER's quiet carriages, which banish such annoyances.

What would be better still was if GNER and all its competitors introduced quiet trains, with just a single carriage reserved for the noise-makers. These passengers could even pay extra to travel bedlam class.

Updated: 11:19 Monday, October 01, 2001