Lights fantastic

I was eight years old when I fell in love with Blackpool. Mum, dad, my sister and me spent in a week in a guest house behind the tower. My fondest memory was of early morning walks with my dad. He would buy a newspaper and we would head for the Witches Cavern caf for a drink before browsing round the near-deserted streets and strolling along the prom. Invariably, we were buffeted by a stiff wind which left you red-faced but invigorated.

I was also captivated by the neon attractions along the Golden Mile and, in my teens and twenties, I returned to sample its pubs and other nightlife.

Now, with two children of my own, I headed back to show them the lights of the world-famous Blackpool Illuminations and relive my childhood with them in the amusement arcades and on the rides of the Pleasure Beach.

I was not looking through rose-tinted spectacles. Blackpool is a splodge of ketchup on a clean white tablecoth.

It's an unruly child, screaming and shouting, it's a saucy postcard come to life.

Where else can you walk into a gift shop and find a display of sex aids nestling between the willy-shaped sweets and boxes of fudge?

Many of the beautiful old buildings of times long gone have been replaced with flat-fronted featureless concrete slabs. But don't shed any tears for poor old Blackpool, it's too busy having a good time, and seriously thinking about becoming the Las Vegas of England.

We stayed in the Savoy Hotel, one of the grand old dames of the quieter North Shore promenade. With its wood-panelled dining room and genteel atmosphere, it was an antidote to the town's excesses.

The biggest of those excesses is the Pleasure Beach, which has now become virtually cashless. Customers instead buy either a wristband (£25), which gives unlimited access to the rides for the entire day, or a book of tickets (£35), which is largely favoured by families.

Valhalla, an awesome so-called dark ride lasting six minutes, is the new jewel in the crown. The rider experiences wind, fire, rain and freezing temperatures while travelling on a watery rollercoaster And you get soaking wet.

The Pleasure Beach is now so packed with rides that the tracks of several of the larger ones intersperse with those of others. You might be negotiating the log flume as the carriages of The Big One, Europe's tallest rollercoaster, thunder past

Unlike many other seaside towns, Blackpool does not suffer from the problems of decaying hotels and empty shops along its promenade.

Indeed, for all its faults, the Golden Mile is still great viewing, and perhaps best seen from one of the gorgeous old trams that rattle up and down.

Alternatively, take a stroll. Wear a smile on your face, even a silly hat , and if you really feel like being daft attach a false naked bottom peeping out of frilly knickers. They are on sale at several stalls.

The illuminations, which opened on August 31, remain a massive crowd-puller.

They are, of course, bigger and better than ever. There are six miles of "spectacular razzle dazzle", and pie-makers Holland's have chipped in with a pies through the ages section.

Blackpool even bagged some globes of light from the Millennium Dome.

There are 400,000 lamps, 500 designs and 40 large tableaux, and it remains a magnificent free show.

You can catch them until November 4, but remember... if you go to Blackpool make sure you have plenty of money in your pocket and a smile on your face.

Fact file:

Accommodation: We stayed at the Savoy Hotel in Queen's Promenade. Phone 01253 352561 for tariff.

Travel: We travelled by rail. There are direct services through ARRIVA from York to Blackpool. The company has linked up with the town's tourism office to offer a buy-one-get-one-free deal on Pleasure Beach wristbands, and similar savings on admission to several top attractions. The savings can be considerable. For fares information phone 08457484950.