Nicola Coates has received news from the American bone marrow donor who helped save her life. The 26-year-old from Wheldrake, near York, who was suffering from leukaemia, reveals what he said - and her reaction.
I underwent a bone marrow transplant at St James's Hospital in Leeds in March last year, but could not be given any details of my donor. All I knew was that it was an American.
Tears filled my eyes when I received a letter from the donor, via the Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust. I realised that I was actually reading words written by the man who is primarily responsible for my existence today. An incredible mixture of feelings including joy, excitement and relief overtook me as I ran about the house desperate to tell my news: "It's a man, my donor's a man!" I had no idea of my donor's gender prior to this, so discovering that "it" was a "he" was my first big step towards knowing his full identity. Come March 2002, subject to my consultant's approval and that of the ANBMT, we will be allowed to exchange photographs, names and ages. From his letter, I know this is his wish too. He wrote: "That has been my wish - for you to live, recover and enjoy your life, and to perhaps get to know you.
"Some day I hope to tell you a little more about myself, but have to keep these notes 'generic' as instructed from the Red Cross."
The letter revealed more details about my donor. "My wife and I enjoy biking, hiking and camping, and have travelled to parks to do so this year. We also enjoy music and concerts - rock'n'roll and jazz - and are headed to a concert today. My thoughts and prayers have been with you since the day I learned that a match had been made."
Since the transplant, my health and strength has grown, apart from occasional setbacks.
During the 17 months, I have contacted my donor twice. In both instances, I had to send my mail to Anthony Nolan HQ in London for it to be checked by staff before being sent on to America.
This process is necessary to ensure that their anonymity and confidentiality policies are not breached. However, have you ever tried writing a letter to someone overseas, not knowing the region where they live, their age, name or even sex and not being allowed to reveal the same about yourself?
It is incredibly hard, believe me, but my efforts have finally paid-off and there is nothing more satisfying and humbling than reading the words of a man I know very little of, but for whom I have a huge amount of gratitude.
I am now counting the weeks down until my second anniversary arrives, but in the meantime I will continue my correspondence - at least now knowing his gender.
Updated: 11:19 Wednesday, August 22, 2001
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