Shaun's all show

accompanied York's own pundit, Shaun Collinge to London for a sneak preview.

PREVIOUSLY, only a fortunate few were privy to the footballing thoughts distilled under Shaun Collinge's distinctive dome. Regulars at the landlord's York pub, The Maltings, are well-briefed on the qualities of his beloved Leeds United, and have learned to fear the forces of darkness known as "Scum", which heretics still refer to as Manchester United.

But now the word is about to be spread. Shaun takes up his post as ITV's voice of Leeds United on Monday. His views will be broadcast not only across the bar at his Tanners Moat pub, but across Britain.

The man who once attracted censure for his public use of the word "b*****ks" is going on telly. We must hope that the broadcasters know what they are doing.

But then, ITV's entire coverage of the Premiership - called, er, The Premiership - is one big gamble. After poaching the rights to the league highlights from BBC, the commercial channel has decided against shoving the programme into a late night slot, a la Match Of The Day. Instead, Des Lynam will introduce The Premiership at 7pm on Saturday, a peak time slot formerly reserved for such light entertainment legends as Cilla and Brucie.

Monday night's show, hosted by Gabby Logan (ne Yorath) and Ally McCoist, will unleash Shaun on an unsuspecting nation.

As the Leeds member of the programme's Premiership Parliament, he will join fans of the other 19 clubs to provide a fan's eye view of the action.

Earlier this week, Shaun was summoned for a final rehearsal at the London Studios in, er, London. To watch him prepare for the ITV cameras was like seeing a Premiership footballer striving for peak pre-season fitness.

After lunching on a sausage roll and travelling to the capital courtesy of GNER (the company is supporting his TV career by delivering him safely to the capital and back), Shaun made like any professional footballer, and headed for the pub.

He knocked back four pints of Fuller's Summer Ale at the fabulous City Pride pub on Farringdon Road, before declaring himself ready. It was show time.

Telly is supposed to be glamorous. It's not, you know. The London Studios are housed in a tatty building on the South Bank of the Thames. We were taken through a warren of corridors adorned with cheesy shots of the likes of Anthea Turner and Michael Barrymore (in happier times).

Finally we joined the other fans in a grubby corner next to a shuttered snack bar. Most were wearing team shirts, some stretched over beer guts. Only two of the Premiership Parliament are women; all of the representatives at the rehearsal were white.

The Liverpool supporter, it was announced, couldn't make it because his car had been nicked. Guffaws all round.

A TV screen revealed what was being filmed in the other studios that night: one was a show called The Charm Offensive. Perhaps inspired by this, Shaun's wife Maxine suddenly announced: "I think red's the most disgusting colour anywhere," instantly alienating half the contingent. "You've never seen Charlton red," chipped in the Charlton supporter gamely.

"I wouldn't even buy a red car," came the retort. "Red's for posers and tarts."

Shaun watched the other fans from a distance with the wary eye of a seasoned pub doorman. "I'm assessing you all," he said. They turned to the Uncle Fester lookalike and smiled weakly.

The mood was lightened when Gabby Logan appeared with a grin that would out-tooth Carol Smillie. "You look bigger on television," quipped one of the fans. Next in was co-presenter Ally McCoist. He worked the crowd brilliantly, and was to keep everyone laughing through what proved a long night.

Earlier this month, at the launch of The Premiership, Ally had got one over on our Shaun. The former Scottish international had approached him, hand outstretched. "Now then, big fella," he said. "How's the pub doing?" Taken aback, Shaun said: "You've got me at a disadvantage, there mate. How did you know about my pub?"

Ally just grinned and told him he'd been told "to keep an eye on you".

Shaun, not to be outdone, later undertook some counter espionage. He phoned Pete, a former Evening Press reporter now working as a newspaperman in Scotland, who was able to furnish him with the details of Ally's friends, his recent house move and his favourite pub. Shaun planned to detonate this little information bomb later.

It was time to go into the studio. This is a small, black room, heated to sauna point by the lights. The audience and Premiership Parliament are racked up behind Gabby and Ally, who perch on uncomfortable green sofas. Gabby recorded a voiceover, added a final coat of hairspray and then it was time for a run-through.

After a word from sponsors Snickers (we must have heard the slogan "Nuts About Football" 50 times), the opening credits rolled to the tune of U2's Beautiful Day.

The combination of a cracking song and fizzing graphics generated a suitably feverish atmosphere.

The features lined up for the Monday night show include an on-the-spot quiz of a Premiership player - Charlton's John Salako proved to be an amiable sport as he struggled to name all his team's foreign players at the rehearsal. Look out, too, for a "magic moments" compilation and highlights of that night's game.

But it was the Premiership Parliament that was the real innovation. Ally McCoist played Mr Speaker. "If you support a Premiership club then these are the men and women who represent you," he told camera two.

In Ally, the fans see a fellow enthusiast, a guy they could have a pint and a craic with; judging by the banter between them, the parliamentary debate is going to be the high point of the show.

AND two hours after the run-through began, it was time for Ally to tackle the Leeds fan. "Shaun," he began, looking up at the threatening third row presence of The Maltings publican. "I have every chance of agreeing with you."

Under cross-examination, Shaun confessed he couldn't see Leeds taking the Premiership title. So who will? "I can't say that," he scowled.

"Yes you can," Ally replied. "Can I help you - would that be Man United?" The bald head grimly nodded assent.

The smiles returned off camera later when York's own Jimmy Hill shook Ally's hand, and asked him about his new home and his regular visits to the Fox and Hounds.

The Scotsman looked at Shaun with an aghast grin. "What are you?" he said. "The FBI?"

Updated: 12:36 Friday, August 17, 2001