Racing gleam

CALL me old-fashioned, but I've never been one to pamper myself. I mean, they're not very manly, are they, all those scented essential oils, moisturising creams and skin toners? Me, I don't even wear aftershave. Strictly for the wusses. Even going to the barber shop is something I put off as long as possible. Once every six months, when I can't leave it any longer, I'll dive into the first place I see where you don't need an appointment. Trim, please, I'll grunt, holding my breath until the hated operation is over.

My wife does her best to keep me presentable, dragging me into the fashion stores in search of a decent jacket and trousers whenever the ones I'm wearing are about to fall to pieces. Trouble is, as soon as I walk through the doors of a clothing store, my legs turn to jelly and I'm overcome by exhaustion. I say yes to the first item of clothing she suggests, grab it and run for the exit. Which is probably why my wardrobe at home is full of clothes I'll hardly ever wear. Lili despairs.

But this time, it would be different. This time, I had a grudge to settle.

Last time I went to York races, I made the mistake of not wearing a jacket. It was hot, so I left it in the car. I'd been briefed to check out the new Champagne Terrace for a feature. Trouble was, being jacketless, I wasn't allowed in. The woman in the racecourse office to whom I applied for a badge looked at me as if I was something unpleasant on the bottom of her shoe, and declined to issue me with one. "What if you're stopped somewhere and embarrassed?" she inquired.

What I needed for my next visit, my colleague Maxine on the Evening Press's fashion desk told me, was a makeover. Women, like elephants, never forget: and so it was that, with the Ebor meet fast approaching, I presented myself at department store Fenwick for an appointment with the store's personal shopper Carol Allen. If anyone can get you looking spruce and dapper, Maxine told me, it's Carol.

Women have another quality, too - they never tell you what you're letting yourself in for. Not content with simply getting me a change of clothing, Carol and Maxine had cooked up a master plan. I was to get the works. Body and facial treatment at the in-store Clarins studio - a new service for men, Carol told me - shampoo and haircut at Regis hairstylists, and then a new set of togs, too.

"I think men are a bit intimidated about coming in, especially to a room that's full of cosmetics," Carol said, noticing my expression. "But we are really going out there for men. Women come in automatically for a facial or massage, why shouldn't we do face and body for men, too? Men will think perhaps they'd like it, but don't think it's the right thing. But if more men do it, then we can start a fashion!"

Yes, but did it have to be me that started it? Apparently so. Because that's another quality women have in abundance. Determination.

So there I was on a couch in beauty therapist Emma Johnston's studio in Clarins. She started with something cool and minty massaged into my feet and calves, then moved on to my back with a revitalising lotion. You're so tense, she told me, unnecessarily. Well, yes. But not, under Emma's skilled care, for long. Her fingers dug expertly into the knotted muscles of my shoulders, pummelled my back, massaged the tension out of my neck. A-a-a-a-h.

Forty minutes later, feeling as though I was floating on air, I was led through for the next stage of my treatment: a shampoo and haircut at Regis.

I was so relaxed by now I didn't even remember to panic. "You hair's very fine", the salon's creative director Kelly Lund said, assessing me instantly. "I think we'll start with a Kerastase ritual treatment, to volumise." Who was I to disagree?

I was led to a sink, tried to kneel on the chair to dunk my head in it, was gently corrected and told to sit with my head back in the special rest provided. Regis stylist Becky Butcher washed and rinsed, then led me back to my chair to apply the treatment. It meant another massage, of head and neck this time. O-h-h-h-h.

Massage over, I sat drinking tea until Kelly was ready for me. I don't like it too short, I told her. I've got broad shoulders and it makes my head look small. Kelly listened, then opted to 'finger-cut' instead of using the electric razor. "So it doesn't look too harsh," she told me.

I had to look twice in the mirror when she showed me the result. Who was that elegant man looking back? Surely not.... But it was. It was me.

Elated, I prepared for the final stage of my makeover. Carol had already prepared a rack of clothes for me to try in her office on the first floor. She'd assessed me expertly over a cup of coffee. "You've got your own way of dressing, and I don't want to just put you in something you don't like," she said.

The style to go for, for the summer races, was 'smart casual', she told me. "You'll have to wear a jacket and tie, but it's summer, it's hot, so you want something that's easy to wear and cool. I've got you something in linen. It feels lovely to wear."

Spot on, I thought at once. My favourite summer fabric. Spot on, too, with the colours: blues and neutrals, nothing too garish. But the best thing of all was, I didn't have to go traipsing around store after store. Carol had done all the hard work for me.

From the small selection she'd already picked out, we settled on a silk and linen Jaeger suit, blue cotton Fenwick/ Christian Dior shirt, silk tie. She'd even dug out some racing glasses for me and, in case of rain, a belted Jaeger mac.

Stunned, I looked at the result in the mirror. I hardly knew myself: and I walked and stood differently, too. I looked, and felt, like a new man.

Can't wait to put the new me to the test in the county stand. And just wait until I see that woman in the racecourse office...

u A facial and body treatment for men at Clarins costs £31. A Kerastase treatment at Regis is £9.50. Shampoo and cut for men is £25. An appointment with personal shopper Carol Allen is free. For more information about any of these services or products, call Fenwick on 01904 643322, Clarins at Fenwick on 01904 642545 or Regis at Fenwick on 01904 643891.