How to cope when rage rears its ugly head

IT SEEMS an odd thing to do - to smash up your own vehicle because it has been clamped. Police and road tax officials watched stunned as the driver of a white van did just that in York on Tuesday. After discovering he had been clamped for not displaying a tax disc, the motorist snatched a spade from his van, smashed its windscreen and rear windows and slashed the tyres.

He then stalked off, allegedly shouting at the tax enforcement team: "You can have it, then!"

True, it was a hot, sticky day - the sort of day when tempers might be expected to flare. But not to that extent, surely?

It's not, apparently, that unusual a reaction. "We actually have quite a few incidents where people go and smash up their own vehicles," admits John Moore, an enforcement manager with the DVLA which is clamping down on car tax cheats across North Yorkshire.

"We've seen people use baseball bats to smash cars to bits. They seem to think that if they can't have it, nobody else is going to have it, either."

At one time or another we have all felt those sudden moments of almost uncontrollable rage. Thankfully most of us, most of the time, do manage to keep our tempers under control.

But we live in an age when rage seems to be becoming ever more common.

If it's not road rage or air rage it's trolley rage, queue rage or even computer rage.

Is our society really becoming more bad-tempered? Possibly, says clinical psychologist Isabel Clarke, an expert in anger management at Royal Southampton Hospital.

Our lives have definitely become more stressful during the last 20 years, she says - both at work and because of our increasingly-crowded roads and unreliable public transport. And there is a definite link between stress and anger.

What happens when we become angry, says Mrs Clarke, is that our arousal levels are raised.

Fuelled by stress, our bodies are readying themselves for action.

At the same time there is a change in our thinking. Our mind becomes focused on a perceived threat and our ability to consider the consequences of our actions is reduced.

Hot, sticky weather such as that we have been having for the last few days simply adds to stress, says Mrs Clarke - and makes it more likely that we will flare out of control.

That may be what happened to the York van driver. "Obviously, he would have been stressed when he came up to his car to find it clamped," says Mrs Clarke. "The threat he perceived was that he wasn't going to be able to drive his vehicle away."

Obviously, it would have paid him to remain calm. "If he had taken a few deep breaths and calmed down he would have known that smashing his car could only make things worse." Easier said than done, though. So how do we remain calm when we're in a stressful situation?

The key is to recognise early that you are beginning to get worked up, says Mrs Clarke.

If possible, get away from the situation that's causing the stress. Then you will be able to think more rationally and realise that if you allow yourself to get worked up the decisions you take won't be the best ones.

It's important to be aware of your own internal signs that might indicate your fuse is about to blow. "Be aware of the things that niggle you, and if you can do something about them, do it early," says Mrs Clarke. "The earlier you pick it up, the easier it is to bring down the arousal levels."

Ironically, one of the best ways to prevent yourself flying into a rage is to be calmly assertive.

People often become angry because they are unable to assert themselves properly, says Mrs Clarke. This leads to frustration, resentment, stress and that explosion. So if you are getting angry, don't bottle things up: say what you feel about a situation strongly and calmly without losing your temper.

If it's somebody else who looks about to blow their fuse, the main thing is not to be confrontational, Mrs Clarke adds.

"Never argue with somebody who is getting angry. It's no good trying to put a reasoned point of view when somebody is getting to a high level of arousal because they cannot take in a reasoned point of view.

"And the other thing to watch is that if somebody is getting angry with you, it is a natural reaction of your body to get ready for action itself."

So you will start to get angry too and the situation will escalate.

The best policy when confronted by somebody who is about to boil over, says Mrs Clarke, is just to walk away until they have calmed down.

John Moore wouldn't disagree. When his clampers come across somebody angry enough to smash up their own car, they have a simple policy.

"We just stand back and watch them do it," he says. "And if there's any threat of violence, we walk away."

Updated: 11:09 Thursday, July 05, 2001