LOOK at the clip of York's Blue Bicycle chef Kenny Noble. He had it zebra-styled by Lawton Henry of Walmgate to raise money for the up-market restaurant's pet charity which fights to ease the suffering of Alzheimer's victims.

The 38-year-old chef has been taking some prime-ribbing ever since.

"Waiters have started calling me Shebra after the chance coupling between a Shetland pony and a randy zebra that was in all the papers a few days ago," he moans.

"In a way the haircut chimes in with our restaurant menu. When foot and mouth was raging through the countryside, we offered zebra fillets - they taste like gamey beef - and very nice they were too."

Kenny is no stranger to ridicule over his barnet.

"To raise cash for Alzheimer's sufferers I have had my hair cut in a chequerboard style, not to mention dyeing it red and white and even green.

"For the York Food Festival in September I'm having my hair cut into the shape of a shark."

This lad is no hair-today-gone-tomorrow fund-raiser, he really puts his head where his heart is.

A week last Friday the Blue Bicycle restaurant sponsored a gallop at York races and raised a whopping £3,000 to fight Alzheimer's.

- IT'S not everyday a soap star is there to greet you and offer to carry your bags when you get off a train at Hotton, er, sorry, Knaresborough.

But that's what happened to some startled passengers who stepped from from the Harrogate to York train at Knaresborough whose station signs had been transformed into fictional Hotton, of Emmerdale fame.

And there was nasty Eric Pollard, aka Chris Chittell, wreathed in smiles offering to help passengers around the mini rails for the cameras on the platform.

The train's conductor had alerted passengers to the fact that Knaresbough station was being called Hotton until the soap crew had finished filming so they would not miss their stop.

Five minutes out of Knaresborough speeding to York a party of four middle-aged Americans wailed: "When do we get to Knaresboro?"

So they had to continue to York and get the next train back to Hotton, er, sorry, Knaresborough.

- BERLIN student Robert Schmidt lost more than his heart to York when he visited a week or so ago.

He sent me a plea-mail when he got back. Here's his cry from the heart in his own words:

"Hello, I am a German student, living in Berlin. Last week I've been in York with the class of my school. It was great there.

"York is one of the nicest places I've ever seen.

"But I have a big problem. We had been in this pub, where Guy Fawkes was born, near the Minster and I have lost my basecap there - a black hat with the title The Bates.

"Now I'm in Berlin and I want to have it back because this basecap is not available anymore. Can you go there please and ask someone inside the pub for this cap, and send an e-mail back to me, that you have it. Then I will give you my address and you can send it back to me.

"Thank you very much. When you send it back to me, I will give you some money for the help."

So I rang the Guy Fawkes Hotel in High Petergate, and spoke to helpful assistant manager Kevin Price and bingo!

He had Robert's cap safe and sound in a staff cupboard and has now promised to send it on to him in Berlin. With trembling fingers, I e-mailed Robert to tell him the good news.

It went straight to his head because he shot back with this: "Hi, Dick, thank you very much for searching my basecap, you are great. My address is... When I have it here, I will send you a little present for your help."

Nay lad, no gifts... just happy to touch base and be of service.

- STRAIGHT talking wasn't at the top of the agenda when City of York Council announced plans to share information to beat crime.

The proposed scheme, announced in a community safety and local affairs agenda, is intended to allow groups including police, NHS trusts and local councils, to share information from their records if it helps foil the felons and ne'er do wells.

Hopefully this shared information won't be presented in the same way as the proposal: "A common and agreed information sharing protocol is essential in practice if parties are to exchange personal information with confidence that other parties might not disclose personal information to other parties or use personal information obtained for purposes other than those intended," wrote council officer Dylan Griffiths.

This coming from a city council that prides itself on its use of plain English!

- A Pretty, youngish American woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.

Seeing God, she asked: "Is my time up?"

God said: "No, you have another 41 years, two months, and eight days to live."

After recovering, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, tummy tuck and boob job.

Since she had so much more time to live, she thought she might as well look stunning.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street to her boyfriend's car she was run over and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded: "I thought you said I had another 40-plus years to live? How come you didn't pull me out of the path of that ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't recognise you."