They brought us the fancy-dress wedding, the lucky conker and Ethel the Goldfish. And now Dave (minus his long hair) and Loraine Wiltshire, landlord and landlady of York's Walker's Bar on Micklegate, are going back to Grimsby to run The Angel, which is also the pub that the couple first met in.
Over the past three years they transformed 'that pub at the end of the Micklegate run' with the help of drinkable real ales, orgasmic Sunday lunches and a welcome that made Cheers look like a morgue.
Dave, Loraine, Theakston the dog, Harry the Barman, regulars and some of the goings-on at the pub made it into this publication on numerous occasions, starting with their April Fool's Day wedding in 1999 when Dave was dressed as Dick Turpin and Loraine as a maid.
As Bar Talk readers will recall, Dave's lucky conker completely failed to live up to its name, and the pub's 5s and 3s winter league dominoes team argued they were really the strongest team - at the bottom of the third division, they had to be strong to hold up the rest of the league!
As a fitting tribute to the Wilts' leaving, the summer league team finally got themselves off the bottom of the table, and nobody can remember the last time they rubbed the legendary conker, although rubbing team member Ralph's head seemed to be a better move.
Regular Colin Teasdale made it into the paper when he heroically leapt in the river Ouse to save a struggling Theakston, but it ended with them both being rescued. And on a sad note, our obituary on Ethel the Goldfish told of her return to that same river.
More recently, we've brought you stories of pantomime horses and drunken ants - although take my word that the tales which made it into print are only the half of it...
WHO could resist an invitation to a "Bliss-up in a Brewery"? The brewery in question was the Mash restaurant and micro-brewery in London's Great Portland Street, where Safeway would be promoting its extensive range of bottled beers. It was going to be hard work but somebody had to do it.
"An afternoon of beer revisionism," started with lectures, kept brief as some of Mash's own brew was consumed by the hacks - incidentally more than half of them were women. There was a talk on women and brewing, about how we brewed it first, pulled it first and, I suspect, drank it first.
By far the most interesting talks were the two on beer and health, by Dr Thomas Stuttaford, of The Times and Dr Caroline Walker, of Brewing Research International, both of whom said that BEER IS GOOD FOR YOU! (ahem... in moderation, I think, and without crisps and definitely no binge drinking).
It seems the beer industry is keen to point out that it's not only wine which is good for the health. Beer, they say, is full of antioxidants, high in potassium, low in sodium, low in calcium, rich in magnesium, a source of soluble fibre, an excellent source of vitamins particularly B vitamins... get the picture yet?
Beer also offers protection against osteoporosis, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases, if consumed in the right amounts - these vary depending on the type and strength of the beer. The new recommended guidelines are half to one litre a day for men, and half that amount for women - or about a pint for the girls and two pints for the fellas.
A report just issued by the University of Uppsala in Sweden has even found that people (both male and females) who regularly drink that amount, have a more active sex life than teetotallers or heavy drinkers - and so beer is good for your sex life too.
They even told us that the term beer belly was a misnomer, as the fat tends to come from the crisps, nuts, excessive amounts of beer and all those take-aways on the way home. If you compare the calories in 250ml of beer with other 'healthier options', beer comes out the lowest at 103 calories (120 in apple juice, 134 in milk and 205 in a fruit yoghurt).
There are still plenty of unanswered questions about the effects of beer, especially outside of laboratory conditions, so more research in the field is needed (I'll help!). In fact, I have a couple of subjects of my own that I think need looking into: why is everybody cute when you have beer goggles on, and where do beer scooters come from?
The other highlight was the actual tasting, where beer was matched with food, music and material to create a full sensory experience. For example the wonderful Liefman Kriekbier was accompanied by chocolate brownie with nuts, which went down well, unlike the awful track by Charles Trenet and a swatch of hessian. Much better was the piece of velvet, duck pizza and Deanta track Let The Hair Sit, which went very well with O'Hanlon's Port Stout.
Other than good beer (and great accompanying food), some unusual uses for hops were unveiled, such as natural hop confetti and Hopshave. The Hopshave successfully cleared half a railway carriage when my associate splashed it about on the way home, although I've found out that taking a whiff now and then seems to have an euphoric effect. I did wonder whether it should be for women to attract men (remember the Boddingtons advert?), and so in the interest of field research I road tested it. So far it has got me zilch (except a fit of giggles when I put on far too much).
And so now I know. Next time I'm out, it's not to savour the pure joy of drinking, but to get my dose of flavonoids. Cheers.
Liggin'Lacy
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