I'VE lost count of the number of times my boss has given me a dressing down for untidiness. The state of my desk, the floor around it and the drawers that never shut due to mounds of paper are, as is pointed out to me, not only a health hazard but must make my job a lot more difficult.
I agree. Yet try as I might, I just can't seem to get things together sufficiently to make a difference. Quite simply, I've got so much going on in my life, so much to do in so little time, that many things - such as tidying - fall by the wayside, at work and at home.
But this could easily be remedied, as I intend to inform my boss. Workers at some companies in Britain are being offered a 'lifestyle manager' to take care of their domestic chores. If they ever have a problem - a leaky tap, a blocked drain or a broken washing machine - they need only to make a phone call to their managers and it will be sorted out.
The managers even send birthday cards and presents to friends and family, something that since I had children, I frequently forget to do.
I don't think my mother has ever forgiven me for handing her a 40th wedding anniversary card last year - days after the event. To be honest, I bought it in good time. I even stuck a stamp on the front. But, with one thing and another, it didn't get posted.
Lifestyle managers book tables in restaurants and holidays for you. They will walk your dog and sort out your car insurance. Wow! Imagine how my life would change. At this very moment I could name at least 30 'things' I want sorting out, including...
- Organising my daughter's party. It's not until May, but it's already giving me sleepless nights.
- Trying to find a gym that charges less than the price of a new car for annual membership - then finding time to go.
- Filling in and sending off a residents' parking form because if I don't get around to that, I'll be heavily fined for leaving my car outside my own house.
- Buying a new kettle because however convenient it is to be able to switch it on at the beginning of Coronation Street and know it will just have boiled when the interval arrives, it really should not take that long.
- Arranging a dental appointment before I end up with teeth you keep in a bedside glass.
- Shopping for a new skirt. Because I own only one and if I don't find another soon I'll have no choice but to go to work in my pyjama bottoms.
- Wondering what to do with our very nervous cat when we go on holiday in a couple of months time. Our usual, tried-and-trusted cat-minder is going away at the same time.
- Buying a new razor for my husband, who may look like he's cultivating the Tom Hanks CastAway look but he's just too lazy to pop out to Boots.
Apparently, some people who use these services are on the phone three or four times a day. One person even rang up trying to identify a tune he'd heard. That is taking things a bit far.
If I was able to call for help every time I forgot something, I'd never be off the phone. But I wouldn't say no to the rest.
Shame it's only available to high-flying executives at top City firms (no wonder they're high-flying if their whole lives are organised for them). We low-flyers are expected to grin and bear it.
My boss would never agree to such a perk. My husband also dismisses it as "ridiculous". But that's because he already has a lifestyle manager - me.
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