Early warnings

BRITISH men are good at doing embarrassed. There are certain things we just don't talk about - and if there is a problem with the waterworks, chances are we will suffer in silence rather than seek help. But that, as any health professional will tell you, is the last thing you should do.

Six years ago, retired British Rail signals engineer Alan Hayes was on holiday in Spain with his wife Freda when he quite suddenly started to have problems.

"I was going to the toilet a lot," he explains. "I'd go for a drink, get up and go to the toilet - and then ten minutes later I'd go back again."

By the time they got back to England, he'd was getting up three or four times a night - and whenever he went into York city centre he'd have to plan his trips around the public lavatories.

Alan knew something was wrong - and wasn't embarrassed about seeking help from his GP. He's glad now that he did.

He was diagnosed as having an enlarged prostate, which was preventing him relieving himself properly so he could only force a dribble out each time he went. It's a common problem among older men. He was referred to hospital for a simple operation to relieve the pressure on his urethra - the tube running from the bladder which allows men to urinate.

It was a simple 20-minute operation and worked perfectly. But there was a shock in store. A sample of Alan's prostate was sent away for analysis - and it turned out he had cancer.

Alan was still in hospital recovering from the operation when the news was broken to him. It came as a shock, he admits. "You find yourself thinking, how long am I going to live? You feel as though you've just received a death sentence, although you haven't."

The worst thing of all, he says, was worrying about how to break the news to Freda.

He was able to leave hospital and return to their home in Knavesmire Crescent with her the next day - but all the way home, she recalls, he was oddly quiet.

"I couldn't understand what was the matter with him," she says. "He'd been looking forward to coming home, but then he was so quiet."

Alan eventually broke the news to her over a cup of coffee when they got home. "It came as a bit of a shock to her," he recalls. "But we realised we had to get on with our lives."

Alan was put on drugs to control the growth of his cancer. The drugs he is on works by suppressing the male hormones which stimulate the growth of prostate cancer, he says - and a side effect is that they make him impotent.

Alan, now 78, is philosophical. "It not only kills your ability to do anything, it kills your desire to do it as well!" he says.

Freda, now 73, adds: "We just accept it, that's all. We're as close as ever..."

Alan says he's had a lot of help from local support group Cancer Concern (York), which provided a listening ear and the companionship of other people who understood what he was going through.

Now he and Freda are simply glad he sought medical help so quickly. Over the past six years, they've had a healthy and happy retirement, holidaying abroad three times a year, going for walks, keeping busy. But they know what could have happened if Alan had been too embarrassed to seek help. Because if left untreated, prostate cancer continues to grow - and can eventually spread to other parts of the body such as the bone.

A relative of the Hayes' by marriage died just before Christmas from prostate cancer which had spread to the bones. He suffered a lot of pain, Alan says. "I feel that if (he) had been diagnosed and treated early on, something could have been done," he says. "I cannot emphasise too much how important it is to catch it early. I would recommend anybody who is going to the toilet a lot to go and see their GP."

That is precisely the advice given by the Imperial Cancer Research Fund, which today launches a new campaign, 'Dads and Lads', urging men to be more aware of their bodies and less embarrassed about seeking help.

The earlier cancers such as prostate or testicular cancer are diagnosed the better, the charity says. Regional spokesperson Nicki Embleton said: "The campaign is all about making men aware of the symptoms of cancers and encouraging them not to be embarrassed to talk about the problem - to their family or their doctor.

"The message is simple. Don't be embarrassed to seek help. Your doctor won't be embarrassed - and it could lead to early diagnosis and ultimately save your life."

Fact file:

A non-malignant enlarged prostate is common among older men. Experts believe half of all men aged 60 or over may be affected.

Prostate cancer is unrelated to simple enlargement of the prostate, and much rarer. But it is still the second most common cancer in men in the UK after lung cancer.

In 1996, more than 21,000 men were diagnosed with the condition in the UK - in 1998, more than 9,000 men in the country died from it. If not treated, the cancer can spread to other parts of the body, most commonly the bones and lymph glands. Treatment varies depending upon your condition.

Testicular cancer, although less common than prostate cancer, is the most common cancer among men aged 15 to 40 in the UK. In 1996, more than 1,700 men were diagnosed.

The good news is that with early detection more than 90 per cent of patients are successfully treated.

The Imperial Cancer Research Fund recommends men should check their testicles every month, looking for any changes in size or weight and lumps, painful or otherwise. If you find anything worrying, see your GP straight away.

-If you or a relative suffer from cancer, and you would like to speak to someone in confidence or meet up with others in a similar position, the support group, Cancer Concern (York), may be able to help. Call Moyra Walker on 01904 702053. The Prostate Cancer Support Group also has its own freephone helpline, 0845 6010766. The Imperial Cancer Research Fund can be contacted via its website at www.imperialcancer.co.uk or via its regional office on 0113 231 9828.