NOW here's an idea to perk up the most jaded of palates: rhubarb and custard coffee. It is just one of a range of strange and exotic coffees that has become part of the daily grind for York pub landlord Andy Yuill and his staff.

Andy is full of beans. His passion for coffee keeps him awake all night - dreaming up new recipes.

He experiments in his "laboratory" - an upstairs room in his boozer, the Golden Fleece, in Pavement, York - until emerging, mad-eyed, with a brand new beverage.

Where did the inspiration for rhubarb and custard coffee come from? "I was just thinking about that old cartoon Rhubarb & Custard - diddley-dum, diddley-dum," says Andy, breaking into the signature tune. "I am constantly trying to push back the boundaries of what we can and can't do."

The result is a drink that's more like a dessert. It comes in layers: custard at the bottom, liquid vanilla chocolate next, then milk flavoured with rhubarb syrup, finally topped by espresso and cream. Price: £2.50.

Andy is so evangelical about coffee that word about the new drink quickly spread. Now tourists are flocking to the Fleece for a sip.

The genial landlord, who ran another pub owned by the Fibbers group, the Duchess in Leeds, before taking over the Fleece in March, has copyrighted two other recipes.

One is the Zestesso - espresso coffee with fresh lime zest; the other is Cognesso, cognac and espresso.

Look out, too, for a Dr Feelgood, which includes vanilla-flavoured hot milk and Jack Daniels, and the Christmas Carol, boasting brandy sauce and Baileys milk.

Andy cannot help rhapsodising about proper coffee.

Did you know that the French invented the cappuccino machine, not the Italians? Neither did I. Did you need to know? Neither did I.

It is this attention to detail and emphasis on personal service that led the Golden Fleece to be named the Yorkshire Tourist Forum Pub of the Year after it received 5,000 votes from happy punters.

But just be warned. Never go into Andy's place and ask for an "ordinary" coffee...

AS he entered a little country store, a stranger spotted a sign saying: Danger, Beware Of Dog! on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old dog asleep on the floor near the till. He asked the store manager: "Is that the dog we are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," replied the store manager.

The stranger was amused. "It doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why the sign?"

"Because, clever clogs," explained the owner sagely, "before I put up the sign people kept tripping over him on the way in."

MORE low thoughts on lofty matters...

Never let your man's mind wander, it's too little to be out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well they never mature anyway.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the chance to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

A man was walking along Bridlington beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said: "Times are hard so I can only grant you one wish!"

The man sat and thought for a while and said: "I've always wanted to go to Holland but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Holland so I can drive over for a visit?"

The genie laughed and said: "Impossible. Think of the logistics. How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the North Sea. Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No, think of another wish."

The man thought hard before saying: "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives all said I was uncaring and insensitive. So, I wish I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when the give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy..."

The genie replied: "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

Defining moment:

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped - Groucho Marx