Have you got a one track mind? Did you spend hours tinkering with your train set as a child? While stuck on Platform Three waiting for another delayed service, do you often think that you could run the railway better?
If so, contact Railtrack immediately. It seeks a 'train planner': someone with an "inquisitive, analytical mind" who likes a "challenge".
Basically, you will help to make the trains run on time. Considering the chaos now afflicting Britain's rail network, the ideal candidate will need to possess Einstein's grasp of maths, Tiger Woods' temperament, Mr Micawber's optimism - and the hide of a bull rhinoceros.
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