Dejected York City club captain Peter Swan has revealed his heartache over the injury that is threatening to end his career.
The career of the former Leeds and Hull defensive kingpin's future is hanging in the balance after medical experts advised him never to play again.
City and Swan are now awaiting a final report that could confirm the worst and the 34-year-old himself is resigned to the fact his playing days are over.
"I'm gutted, especially given that every thing went so well when I first joined the club at the end of last season and I was given the captaincy at the start of this," he told old the Evening Press.
"I feel sorry for the gaffer and I feel like I have let him down.
"But the club and Terry Dolan have been brilliant. They know there is nothing I can do about it and it is just one of those things.
"I don't want to pack playing football in - I reckon I could have three or four more years left in the game yet. But I have just got to bite the bullet and get on with it and it helps that the club has been so supportive."
Swan, signed on a short-term contract at the end of last season after being released from Burnley, recalled the moment his right knee suffered the killer blow - in City's last pre-season outing at North Ferriby United.
"Everything was going fine but then I twisted and got a real pain in the knee. It just blew up," he said.
Describing the afflicted knee as a "right mess", Swan stressed the injury could not be linked to cruciate ligament damage he suffered at Turf Moor.
"If anything, when I came back from that injury the knee was stronger than ever because of all the work I had put in to get it right," he said.
With his playing career seemingly at an end, the Leeds-born defensive rock insists he wants to stay in the game.
"I would love to stay in the game in some capacity and particularly in a coaching role," he said.
"I have got my UEFA 'B' badge and so it is just a matter of seeing what comes along."
Swan said he and his long-time friend and former Newcastle United and Southampton full-back John Beresford planned to go into management together.
Like Swan, Beresford, also 34, was recently forced to bring the curtain down on his career due to injury.
"We have pretty much grown up together although we have never played for the same club and we are both thinking along similar lines," said Swan.
"Obviously, we would like to manage a League club but if it means non-league then we are willing to start there."
* City gave a disappointing performance in drawing 0-0 in the FA Youth Cup second round at Darlington last night.
The replay will be at Bootham Crescent on Tuesday (7pm).
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article