CONFESSIONS of dope smoking are all the rage this week. You won't find me making any such disgraceful disclosure but only because I've already been there, smoked that and written the column to prove it.
Cigarettes, enhanced or otherwise, no longer interest me, so I can claim personal impartiality in the debate about whether or not cannabis should be legalised. This argument is rolled up and ignited every now and then, filling the air with a heady illicit smell. And, no, we are not talking about Ann Widdecombe's perfume.
The Shadow Home Secretary lit up her laughable proposal at the Conservative conference last week. In her dopey conference speech, Miss Widdecombe suggested that those caught in possession of even small amounts of cannabis should face an on-the-spot fine of £100. Her fatuous policy of zero tolerance against cannabis users was greeted with immediate and almost universal ridicule. This was a deeply satisfying result for those of us who believe that zero tolerance should be reserved for Miss Widdecombe herself.
As is often the case with politicians, she had got all hot under her twin-set over something she clearly knew little about. While it would undoubtedly be unwise to sit around smoking cannabis all day, the occasional joint does no one any obvious harm, with the most likely result being a soft slide into incoherence.
Now if Miss Widdecombe had once smoked a joint, she would have been in a better position to understand her subject matter. But then, as we are dealing with a self-proclaimed virgin who has been known to moralise on sexual matters, what else would you expect?
Fortunately for the amusement of the masses, if not for Miss Widdecombe herself, seven leading members of the Tory Shadow Cabinet admitted to a Sunday newspaper that they had smoked dope. Their confessions left her ridiculous proposal looking ever sillier - so much so, that Tory leader William Hague had to make an embarrassing climb-down by shelving Miss Widdecombe's drugs policy.
But in a way, the Shadow Home Secretary has done us all a favour by accidentally giving the legalisation of cannabis the sort of debate it deserves. Our attitudes to soft drugs are all askew in this country. When William Hague boasted that he used to drink 14 pints a night, he was generally seen as having been a bit of a lad, even if not everyone believed that he had ever drunk even half as much. Yet such indulgence is often the way, as people laugh off alcoholic excess while working themselves into a righteous moral lather over something smelly in a cigarette.
Whisky is perfectly legal, as well as being one of life's great pleasures, when taken in moderation on a Friday night while watching Frasier on Channel 4. Yet drinking too much whisky will quickly do you a great deal of harm - much more, I'd suggest, than smoking cannabis.
Attitudes towards cannabis among the police, many politicians and the public are changing. Not everyone agrees that legalisation would make sense. Yet each time the debate is re-ignited, the pro case begins to sound stronger and more sensible. And even those of us who take our pleasures in the smokeless zone can surely agree that the might of the law could be put to better use than tracking down people who like to relax with cigarettes that smell like old bonfires.
All of which is not to suggest that any cannabis smokers should feel they are finally going to get their way. Tony Blair is notoriously twitchy and craven about such matters and is as likely to relax the drug laws as he is to appear on the steps of Ten Downing Street brandishing a smouldering joint.
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