Clive Gott runs Lighthouse Training, helping people with goal setting, career advancement and life-improvement skills.
Q I have often heard people talking about high, or low, self-esteem. What is self-esteem ?
AThe Collins Concise English Dictionary describes self-esteem as "to have great respect or high regard for yourself".
Our self-esteem is based on our internal appreciation of our own value. A core belief of a person with high self-esteem is that no one person is any better or more important than another. It matters not about looks, status or birth rights, each of us is equally as valuable or worthwhile as each other.
Self-esteem is a basic requirement for success. It is the level of our self-esteem which allows us to appreciate other people for who, or what, they are. Typically high self-esteem people will like and value themselves and others. They will be confident in their own opinion while still valuing yours. They will have no wish to ridicule or put down another person, in fact they will be willing to learn something from everyone.
They will also continue to set and achieve, higher and more worthy goals. It follows that the more goals we set and achieve, the less fear we will hold of success and the higher our self-esteem goes as a result. Building high self-esteem is not an overnight job, it can take years of practice to achieve.
QWhy are some people more successful than others even though they appear to come from similar backgrounds?
ASome people would explain this by telling you that success is all about being lucky, being in the right place at the right time. The truth is that, for anyone who dreams of being more successful than they are at present, we are already in the right place at the right time. The right place is where you are and the right time is now.
The dictionary describes luck as "events that are beyond our control" and success as "a favourable outcome of something attempted". I believe that your success is within your control. The main difference between those who enjoy success and those who, as yet, do not is that the successful people knew what they wanted and were prepared to pay a price in attempting to achieve it.
My job requires me to help many people to plan a more successful future. When I ask them to tell me what success means, most of them cannot tell me. My interest is in what has prompted you to ask this question. Have you seen someone who you wish you could be? Or does someone have something you wish you could have?
Is something missing in your life but you "just don't know what it is"? If that is the case you should not beat yourself up, you are not a bad or greedy person, but you should try to identify what would make you feel more successful. Ask yourself these three questions:
If, in three years time, you were in exactly the same position as you are in now what will you wish you'd done?
If, in three years time you have everything you desire, what do you have?
If you won £250,000 tomorrow, what would you do with it?
The answers will help you to set a series of achievable goals for your success in the future.
For more information about Lighthouse Training, telephone: 07710 401092
Next week, GP Andy Field takes the hot seat. If you have any query about health, fitness or relationships, write in confidence to: The Experts, Features Department, Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York, YO1 9YN, with your name, address and daytime telephone number, (these details will not be published). We regret that none of our columnists will be able to reply to individuals.
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